Wow Lana, that's an old one. I only remember because I just saw it again about a week ago...
Arsnic and Old Lace.
I liked this line by Cary Grant:
"Well, usually I'm Mortimer Brewster, but I'm not quite myself today"
How about this movie:
Brodie: Tell me, did you ever fart in front of her?
T.S.: No, why do you ask?
Brodie: I never farted in front of Renee. Last week, I let one slip and today she dumps me.
T.S.: Renee's not the shallow type. You're not insinuating...
Brodie: She was going down on me at the time.
T.S.:
[Retches]
Brodie: What can I say, I was feeling relaxed, when I feel relaxed I squirt.
T.S.: If all she did was dump you, you got off light.
Shannon Hamilton: You wanna say something?
Brodie Bruce: Yeah! About a million things, but I can't express myself monosyllabically enough for you to understand it all.
Renee: Brodie, I've always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday, when you told me to do a striptease to the theme of "Mighty Mouse," I did it. On prom night at the hotel when you told me to sleep under the bed in case your mother barged in, I said okay. And even during my grandmother's funeral when you told my relatives that you could see her nipples through her burial dress, I let that slide. But if you think I'm gonna suffer any of your sh-- with a smile now that we're broken up, you're in for some serious !@#$ing disappointment!
[brodie picks up a controller and continues a paused video game.]
Renee: What are you doing? You promised me breakfast.
Brodie: Breakfast, shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ's sake. It's only the second period and I'm up 12 to 2. Breakfasts come and go, Renee, but Hartford, "the Whale," they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.