I'll go ahead and add to the pile on. Why the !@#$ not? Who gives a ****?
You got your modifiers screwy in the first sentence and always air on the side of active tense:
As camp and preseason end. (Also, if you can say the same thing with fewer words, do it. Always.)
"Persist" doesn't fit. "Remain" gets the job done.
Again active voice:
Will the defense improve this year?
'"With" the link at the top' sounds goofy. Click the link up top to read more, follow the link up top--both sound better to me.
Expect "from" the Sabres.
"With little known talent on the Buffalo Sabres, what can one expect of the unknown, but large amount of rookie talent that will soon dominate the Sabres roster?" --this whole sentence is jacked up, but it illustrates WHY we were forced to diagram sentences in middle school. In fact, I don't even know what you mean to say. Start from scratch.
Writing is !@#$ing hard.