I don't think people are putting shame on T'eo. It's just that this story satisfies our morbid curiosity. And it would satisfy it even more if he was in on it. It's better than a 48 Hours Mystery. Sure, it at the expense of a real person, but we're only human.
And do we really want him to have been a victim of such a scheme? Maybe I'm weak, but if it was me who got duped in such a manner, my life would be in shambles right now. Having to go through the pain of having a loved one die (actually 2), then only to find out it was all fake much later? I would probably become royally pissed at the end stage, but at first I would probably be a mess.