deer santa:
>>I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all
yeer.
>>Yer Frend,
>>BiLLy
>>
>>Dear Billy,
>>Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How
about I
>>send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm
giving
>>your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
>>Santa
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Dear Santa,
>>I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace
>>and joy in the world for everybody!
>>Love,
>>Sarah
>>
>>Dear Sarah,
>>Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
>>Santa
>>
>>
>>
>>Dear Santa,
>>I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy
>>and da! ddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
>>Love,
>>Teddy
>>
>>Dear Teddy,
>>Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane.
>>Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid,
fat
mom,
>>who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let
me
get
>>you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family
with
>>those?
>>Santa
>>
>>
>>
>>Dear Santa,
>>I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
drum
>>kit, a pony and a tuba.
>>Love,
>>Francis
>>
>>Dear Francis,
>>Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
>>Santa
>>
>>
>>
>>Dear Santa,
>>I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
for
>>y! our reindeer outside the back door.
>>Love,
>>Susan< BR>>>
>>Dear Susan,
>>Milk gives me the ***** and carrots make the deer fart in my face
when
>>riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim
Beam.
>>Santa
>>
>>
>>
>>Dear Santa,
>>What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making
toys?
>>Your friend,
>>Thomas
>>
>>Dear Thomas,
>>All the toys are made by little kids like you in China Every year I
give
>>them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas,
where
>>I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
>>drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
while
>>losing money at the craps table.
>>Santa
>>P.S.
>>Tell your mom she got the part.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Dear Santa,
>>Do yo! u see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake,
>>like in the song?
>>Love,
>>Jessica
>>
>>Dear Jessica,
>>Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm
skipping
>>your house.
>>Santa
>>
>>&nbs! p;
>>
>>
>>Dear Santa,
>>I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE
>>
>>could I have one?
>>Timmy
>>
>>Timmy,
>>That whiney begging sh-- may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't
>>work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
>>Santa
>>
>>
>>
>>Dearest Santa,
>>We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
>>Love,
>>Marky
>>
>>Mark,
>>First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're get! ting
your
ass
>>kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
>>low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad
just
like
>>all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
>>Sweet Dreams,
>>Santa