Can I get serious here guys ... I certainly hope to win this ... I have so few things in my life worth living for, so this would really mean so much to me. A few anecdotes from my life should help explain why.
It all started when I met this woman. She certainly seemed interested in me. Though she was attractive, she was also, in fact, a Nazi.
Another time, at the beach, the water that I had been swimming in was very cold ... and when I dropped the towel there had been significant shrinkage. My parents were looking at me. So there I was ... with the marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole.
In closing, these stories have not been embellished ... because they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life ... as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man.
Thank you. Oh, also...
My fiance died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out.
Thanks again.