Olga, this is Dmitri again.
I finally figured out what happened. After some careful thought, there are only 2 explanations why you haven't returned my phone call, you are either deceased or in a coma. There are no other explantions why you would not jump at the opportunity to land such a catch as me.
Now you cannot be deceased since you would've mentioned me in your will, so obviously you are in a coma. So here is the deal. When you wake up from your coma, you will have 30 minutes to get to my house. I know that you'll be well rested, so you'll be able to run pretty fast. Not knowing what time you'll wake up, I'll allow you an extra 7 minutes for rush hour traffic. After 37 minutes I will lock my door and this opportunity will be lost forever.
I've faxed you detailed instructions on how you will pleasure me. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter and don't rush steps 4 through 9. Make sure that you buy a 5/8" rubber house, not 3/4". The olive oil has to be extra virgin and I'll lay out the clown costume that you are to wear. Make sure that you call the midgets on your way over so that they have time to get here.
I'm am looking forward to giving you a truly magical experience.
Dmitri