DC Tom

I think you're an idiot, and because my post is underlined and in italics it carries far more weight than my usual "You're an idiot," so you must take it seriously. If you don't cease this Mahomes stupidity, I shall call you an idiot again, but in an even more serious 18-Point Comic Sans Font.

We call it the "If you like you child, you can keep your child" policy.

Well, he is more Native American than Elizabeth Warren...

And I blame all of it on an obscure YouTube video...

Wow. Referencing "research" that finds messaging is on the rise on Twitter to justify shutting down another platform.

Well, they had to save the other third to put an anti-Trump story above the fold...

Sharpton's twitter feed might be the dumbest thing on the internet.

Well, nobody really knows exactly what a bomb is. It's like turbulence... Please tell her, from me, that she's an idiot.

I've found, over the past eighteen months, that whenever anyone quotes Trump and I go back and see what Trump actually says, he's invariably being misrepresented.

Dammit, I need a knife, but all I have is spoons! Orange man bad!

We could put lithium in the water.

You're presuming it matters.

"It's 2am, Saturday morning, and I'm drunk. I'm going to post stupid ***** on the internet!" Really...he can't just go out and bang a fat chick like a normal late-night drunk?

It would be the legal attache's job. And you do know that we don't have an ambassador to Turkey, because the Turks expelled him after he protested Turkish arrests of embassy staff?

Just saw a headline, "Trump refuses to blame guns for Pittsburgh shootings." He also didn't blame cast-iron pipes and padded envelopes for the mail bombs, either.

Trump killed Jews by supporting Jews?

1) Pouting? 2) Faux poutine...and you couldn't come up with "fauxtine?" Moron.

Sold it on eBay. Are you ever going to send me the check?

The Emancipation Proclamation was a pretty speech, but the Civil War and the 14th Amendment freed slaves. "We shall never surrender" was a fine oration, but five years' more fighting won the war. "Peace in our time" wasn't. "We choose to go to the moon" didn't put men on the moon. The Great Man Theory is nonsense. Politicians make words. Social and cultural forces make history.

Oompa-Loompas are very hard workers, with great stamina. Why do you think Wonka employed them?

You'd think that would be obvious, given that you won't find a new Mahomes post EVERY ***** DAY down here. Such an aristocrat, he probably drinks his Genny Cream Ale with his pinky extended...

You are beating a bottle of stale, hardened glue at this point. Jesus, people...let it go.

Wow. I mean...wow. The country with whom we're in a trade war is caving on Iran sanctions? Wow.