I agree with most of this, you invited me to celebrate your wedding, now I'm supposed to pay for my dinner and a gift? Many cases the parents/family help out and pay for it, plus they have Stag & does to make money to help pay too. If you can't afford it or don't want to end up in debt afterwards, don't have such an expensive wedding.
When I got married i didnt want a Stag & Doe and paid for pretty much all of it ourselves. Kept it small and told my wife to work with the budget.