smokinandjokin

Did you see the South Park episode when Stan's father was on Wheel of Fortune? He made it to the final puzzle, so it's him and Pat Sajak standing there. The category is "People Who Annoy Us" and they give the usual letters, and then let Stan's father pick his letters. The puzzle ends up looking like this: N _ G G E R S Stan's father says, "I think I know what it is, but I don't want to say it..." Sajak continues to count down, "10 seconds...5 seconds..." And he says, "Okay, I'd like to solve the puzzle....!@#$s!" The whole place goes quiet, jaws drop, and Vanna walks over and spins the letter around: N A G G E R S For the rest of the episode he was known as the guy who said the N-word on national tv. It was very funny...

Definitely the Phins. Hard to explain why...Even sometimes when you think the rivalry is fading away, there's something about seeing those uniforms, and watching the Bills beat them, that makes you feel so good. The Leafs are nice to beat because they usually have about 8,000 fans in Buffalo for the games, so it's nice to see the fans go home unhappy. However, overall, I enjoy Toronto the city very much, and for the most part, Leaf fans are rowdy but just excited about seeing their team play. The Buffalo people that invaded Columbus (I was one of them) were not exactly angels either. Something about attending an away game that just makes you a little louder and boisterous. I know that loss in the conference finals in '99 (a 5-game beatdown which ended on the Leafs' home ice) still really stings the Toronto fans...And that makes me feel VERY good....But the joy of beating the Dolphins is unparalleled. If we ever beat the Patriots, I'll let you know how that feels, too...

Does the tonic water in my Ketel One vodka & tonic count as "drinking water during the course of the evening"?

The Pope tells us Catholics that condoms are not allowed. The Pope says nope!!!

I love it. A dude chats up the girl he met that night at the bar, ends up taking her home and giving her the old in-out, and he assumes he was the one lucky guy who was able to pull this feat off. "This girl would normally not go have sex with some guy she met three hours ago, but since I'm especially good looking and charming, I was able to make it happen!" Then they dive in without the raincoat, and bad things can happen. Obviously, the HIV is a worst-case scenario. I'm sure I wouldn't be too pleased if I contracted the virus, but to go whoring around and spreading it intentionally, that's pretty damn vindictive.

It would adversely effect me. I would flip my own car, poison myself with alcohol, and probably suffer 3rd degree burns after setting myself on fire during the celebration. And it would be the happiest I ever was.

Fixed your post....

The 39-footer is a much easier shot than the 45-footer.

Fighting is one of the many great parts of a great game. Right around the time of the Sabres-Sens rumble, I heard a guy arguing against fighting, and his point was, "How am I going to bring my 10-year old to a game and have him sit there and watch two players abandon the sport they are playing so that they can throw punches at each other?" The other guy asked him if he went to a lot of Blackhawks games when he was 10-years old growing up in Chicago. He said, "Of course, I went all the time." The other guy responded, "And didn't you love the fights?" And the guy yelled, "Of course I loved the fights!" But apparently, now that he's older and wiser, he will take it upon himself to make sure that nobody is scarred for life because they were forced to watch two goons swing away. Even if you're not a hockey fan, would you EVER change the channel when you see two guys fighting? The fact that the NHL currently has a rinky-dink TV deal plays a role here, too. Many announcers, analysts, and even NHL front office personell want to use fighting as a scapegoat for why they can't appeal to mass audiences and why they can't get on ESPN. That's horseschit. The only time the sport makes it on to ESPN is when there's a good fight. These morons need to stop using fighting as a crutch and realize that the production value of a televised game does nothing to bring the live action of an incredibly quick and exciting sport to the home viewer. Don't play me for an idiot and tell me that the 0.65 fights per game is the reason TV execs are wary of showing hockey. I just watched Terminator 2 on ABC the other day. I think there was slightly more fighting in that.

Lord knows the rafters need them. Will these banners have the slug on them? Probably, right? So we'll have three sets of Sabres banners/logos hanging in the Arena? That's going to look...umm...interesting???

That's the last thing I'm saying. It is the hardest trophy to win and is not handed to anybody. I'm just saying, what team would you rather be supporting going into the playoffs? Don't the Sabres have as good (or maybe even better) chance than anybody to win it all? They have talent, determination, and unlike last year, playoff experience. Carolina was one of the best teams in the NHL all season last year. Isn't the point of playing games to win them? I realize that cruising to the best record in the regular season guarantees nothing for the playoffs. However, are you supposed to lose games? Hell no. Win them all if you can. A division title and the Presidents Cup is certainly soured by not winning in the playoffs, but at least you gave yourself the best opportunity by earning a high seed and home ice. If fans can't be happy about their team compiling the more points than 29 other franchises over the course of 82 games, then they need to reevaluate why they are fans. Who are these teams without faults? Who is playing flawless hockey? How much ground have the Sabres lost while playing this flawed style? Can you name another team who could remain at the top of the NHL while playing 7 minor leaguers? Remember when Toronto and Montreal were hot the chase? A few key injuries now have them battling for 8th place. Can't I feel good about the overall status of the organization? I fully realize the challenge that's ahead for the Sabres. Can't I look back at what has been accomplished and feel proud and excited? If not, please let me know. I'll adjust my fan philosophies.

Good point- Luck is huge. Good teams will make their own luck on the ice, but there are things like losing four defensemen that can only be chalked up to unlucky. Didn't it seem like everytime Carolina got a PP last year in the series against the Sabres, a Buffalo player broke a stick and had to play without one??? The Canes did a good job of taking advantage of those lucky breaks. The luck of stumbling into a hot goaltender is also key. Who could've predicted last year that Cam Ward would win 15 playoff games (and the Conn Smythe) after winning only 14 games during the regular season? Something that's not lucky: Playing well enough over the course of 82 games to earn home-ice advantage in the playoffs. Since 1939, when the NHL adopted the 7-game format, a playoff series has gone to the limit 121 times. The home team has won 81 of those game 7's (67%).

It has been suggested many times here (usually when the Sabres are coming off of a loss) that the team is too "finesse-oriented" and that in the playoffs, guys like Grier and Pyatt are the guys you need. You know, slow lumbering forwards with bad hands are the guys that win games. Grier was a good player here, and filled a role well. However, I don't think it's any coincidence that Drury is having the best offensive season of his career now that the offensive drain MG is off his wing. Last year, Drury had 30 goals (16 on the PP) and 67 points in 81 games and had a +/- of -11. This year, he has 35 goals (16 on the PP) and 60 points in 67 games and is a +3. You could also say that the PK has struggled without Grier (or McKee) and you'd probably be right also. Grier and Pyatt were fine players who you pretty much knew what you would get out of them. However, I think a lot of fans looking for a reason why this Sabres team doesn't have "it" are overstating the importance of players who are no longer around. If not having Mike Grier or Taylor Pyatt means you're in trouble, your team wasn't going anywhere in the first place. Playoff success for the Sabres, much like the other 15 teams who make the playoffs, will revolve around goaltending. I have no worries with Miller and would take him over just about everyone else. As for grit, the Sabres don't seem to have much of it on paper, but when has a Lindy-coached Sabres team NOT played gritty in the playoffs??? He has a way of getting his players to step out of their comfort zones in the post season. I'm very excited, and other than getting the team healthy, I couldn't be happier with the roster heading into the playoffs. Would you trade places/rosters with ANY other team?

eball you are out of your mind. Read a few posts around here and you will see what you have been missing. Everyone knows this team is shot and is not ready for the playoffs. Look at their record since starting out 10-0. They are only like 35-19. Look at their record if you take away the shootout. Look at all their injuries. Darcy should have seen this coming and had some NHL-caliber substitutes ready for action when they lost a forward in six straight games. Now here they are, still stuck at 99 points, while teams in the West like Nashville are healthy and running away with the best record in the league. I mean, they already have a point-total that is in the triple digits- is it even possible to catch them??? And...they've managed to compile the most points while playing 24 games against the powerhouses that are Chicago, Columbus, and St. Louis....The Sabres wouldn't stand a chance against them... The smart money in the playoffs is on San Jose and Vancouver. I've read here several times that the Sabres lack grit...No Grier and no Pyatt means no Cup...Therefore, the teams that those guys are on must be the built for the playoffs (whatever that means,) so bet the farm.

Just making sure I understand here... You think that the Sabres are cooked and will not win the Stanley Cup, even though they have the 2nd-most points and the best road record in the NHL, and have maintained their conference lead while playing most of the last month with 7 AHL players in the lineup. Yet you pick Calgary to win it all, even though they are FADING FAST and are grasping the 8th-place spot with their fingertips. Two weeks ago, the West looked all set in spots 1-8...But now you have Colorado going 8-1-1 in their last 10 and inching within 4 points of Calgary. You are also taking the team who has BY FAR THE WORST ROAD RECORD OF ANY PLAYOFF TEAM, and they will not have home ice advantage in any series. So the Sabres are !@#$, Darcy should be fired, and Calgary will win it all (if they can avoid a complete collapse in the last 10 games and actually make the playoffs.) Got it. Thanks for the knowledge.

Jordan was great when he hosted...I remember his great skit with "Da Bears" guys, and the personal affirmation with Stuart Smalley was hilarious. I remember Jordan barely holding it together to say the "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough..." line. Jeter was pretty funny when he hosted, too.

Looks like Marty had a few big saves. I don't know why the announcers are calling him BEE-ron, though. I think all of these occurred when the Flyers were on the power play: Slick glove save Huge save on Tenkrat's breakaway to keep it 3-3 in the 3rd Slams the 5-hole shut on Kessel with 2 minutes left in the game Huge save through a screen which jumpstarted Upshall's game-winner at end of OT

I know, I know! It's just one of those things that will never, ever, end. It's unfortunate, and yet hysterical, that Big Mike will always come to mind when evaluating UT o-linemen.

The bowling can be explained easily. I don't throw the curveball, only fastballs. As you know, when you can't locate your fastball, you're in for a long day. Once again, speaking to my ability as a clutch performer, I did roll three strikes in the beer frame. As for the Buns and Ammo interview, that was a complete miscommunication between myself and my public relations rep, Lance Bass. I thought it was going to be a political interview about WMD's for an ammunition magazine, but I misunderstood Lance when he said it was for their Weapons of Ass Destruction issue. These things happen.

You're chastising Nate for taking a big contract from a below-average team and saying he doesn't want to win? He's probably tired of all that winning he did in Buffalo.... How many times have we been 'on the cusp' in his 5 years here? Pretty much EVERY YEAR???

That is true, sarman. You can't take much of what I say very seriously...

I have been instructed by my agent Scooter Libby not to divulge that information. You will have to read it for yourself in my interview in the March issue of Blacks & Racks magazine.

UTexas O-linemen are CAN'T MISS!

I am slightly undersized but I am a high-motor white guy. I am not sure about the upside- I believe I peaked athletically about 10 or 11 years ago. I could dunk a tennis ball in high school...Now I can grab net... I have never had any major injuries and I have an especially resiliant liver. I have been arrested twice, which should keep the Bengals, Fins, Cowboys, and Raiders interested...

Yes! Go to Lebro's, it's on Campbell very close to UB. Fish fry is good, as is many of their other pasta dishes. You should be able to find a few with no meat on this Lenten Friday.