smokinandjokin

Nice. To Colts DT Anthony McFarland: Are you from the same village in Ireland as Shaquille O'Neal?

Barbaro's owners could certainly do that, and inseminate one of their own mares, but the offspring couldn't be registered to race. The breeding is, like Dr.Dank mentioned, a mega-million dollar industry, and is heavily regulated. There would be no way to prove that Barbaro was the sire, other than the breeder actually having him hump the mare. Even if Barbaro's owners would know, the rest of the racing industry wouldn't, and therein lies the problem. But if they did try it....Hmmm....A speedster growing up without a father....Perhaps Run Willis Run as the name?

Would you want to be the breeder or the owner of the mare who pays $75,000 for a sample of sperm 'guaranteed' to be Barbaro's? Any thoroughbred racehorse that is put out to stud must impregnate the mare 'naturally.' The breeding rules are strict, and heavily regulated for many reasons. Avoiding incest and in-breeding, and 100% verification of bloodlines are two of the major reasons. No artificial insemination. Not a dumb question- the answer just isn't that well known.

I'd like to ask Ruben Brown who's better: Toad Collins, Rob Johnson, or Rex Grossman?

I don't like chicks whose balls are bigger than their titties. Nice banana hammock, Milla.

You can complete law school and then not necessarily practice law...Sports agent, for example, is one career where a law degree is fairly prevalent. Businesses of all sizes have legal advisors which they employ, and consult on all aspects of purchasing, acquisitions, contracts, strategy, business banking, etc. A position like that might be more of a slant toward the corporate world while still using your wealth of legal knowledge. Do you have an idea what you WANT to do, rather than just knowing that you DON'T want to be a lawyer? You must've at one time wanted to be a lawyer. How do you know you won't get sick of your new endeavor in 2 years?

'Tis true...This video is just another plastic baggie in the evidence locker...

No, not anymore. My grandfather is in his upper 80's and is still a pisser, but he was in with about six other guys who owned quite a few thoroughbreds and trotters over the years. I think five of the six others have already passed on, and they sold off their stable about 10 years ago. The best they had was a horse named YouBetItIGetIt who won a few Grade II and III stakes races at Aqueduct in the mid-80's. Most of the entries were at Fort Erie and Woodbine. They ran a few of the better horses at NYRA tracks, including a few entries at Saratoga, the greatest place in the world. Imagine being 8 years old and walking around in the paddock on a sunny August afternoon in Saratoga...Needless to say I was hooked.

Thoroughbred horses are bred to run, their bodies are built to run, and all they want to do is run. Trust me, the good horses know the difference between a workout and raceday. If you think thoroughbreds have it rough because there's a jockey who whips them four times a race in eight races a year, you are sorely mistaken. These horses are the cream of the crop and are pampered to no end. Low-end owners have $20K+ invested, and high-end owners spend several millions to purchase the top yearlings. You do not make that type of financial committment and not protect your investment. If they weren't running at the track with a dwarf sitting on them, they'd be running in a pasture somewhere. It's their nature. The dwarf is simply there to channel their running into the most productive manner possible.

If by 'petri dish' you mean keeping him alive to collect massive amounts of his sperm, that is definitely not the reason. Thoroughbreds who are going to be registered to race have EXTREMELY strict breeding rules, one of which is no artificial insemination. Barbaro would have had to 'personally deliver' his swimmies to the potential mother, which I'm sure was part of the reason for hoping to repair the hind leg. His two hind legs would've been needed to support his full weight while he took care of business. I have no doubt that the potential income from stud fees played a role, but generally, horse owners are truly all about the horse and only want what's best for the animal. I tend to look at the ulterior motives as well, but I really think the owners just loved this horse, and if he could have a relatively normal and pain-free life, they were going to make every attempt to give him that chance.

Bride-to-be loses her mind over bad hairdo Total meltdown

I follow the sport pretty closely, and have since I was young. My grandfather and several partners formed a consortium that has owned several thoroughbreds on and off throughout the years.

Nope, that is not correct. Breeding may have been the ultimate motivation...There's no doubt his stud fees would've been through the roof. However, his sperm alone is no good...Thoroughbred breeding regulations do not allow for artificial insemination- mainly because you pay so much money in stud fees, that the only way to ensure a horse is the father is to make sure he was the one plugging away. Otherwise, you could just sell sperm from the stable horse and say it was from a Triple Crown champion. To make money, they needed his hind leg to be strong enough to support his weight while standing and doing the deed. I think that was always a longshot. I believe the owners and doctors had the horse's best intentions in mind, and they said all along that if there are setbacks and Barbaro appears to be in discomfort, they would put him down. That seems like what they did. Even though the money he would generate once put out to stud had to be part of the motivation, to me that seems FAR from cruel; running free in a pasture and having sex all day is not the worst way for a horse to live out his golden years....

RIP An undefeated horse who completely outclassed 19 of the best thoroghbreds in the world in the grandest race there is. All the glue jokes in the world won't change that. Unfortunately, when 1200-pound animals thunder all of that weight down on legs that are the size of a human's forearm, these life-threatening injuries are unavoidable.

I have a handshake agreement with three of my closest friends that when the Bills make the SB, we will all go to the game, regardless of where we are all living and what it costs. I am more than willing to hold up my end of the agreement, but I can't say I'd be thrilled to pay $4000+ for a ticket to anything. I went to Europe for 11 days last spring and went to four different countries, and I spent less than $2000 total. It's hard to justify a three-hour football game when you think of it that way.

There was some type of ape in a zoo in Australia who learned how to smoke by watching the people as they smoked in front of his habitat. One day someone was finished with their ciggy, and Curious George went over and picked it up and started puffing away. The story made headlines, and soon, people started going to this zoo in droves and throwing lit cigarettes into his area. I'm not sure if the video is out there on youtube or anything, but he looked so funny. He seemed to actually know what he was doing...He would just be sitting on a rock and take a big drag, and then exhale a puff of smoke. Hilarious....Uhh...I mean, appalling.

Grossman admitting that he "didn't give 100% in my game preparation" because "it was New Year's Eve" was not the brightest quote given to the media by a player. Even if that's the case, don't admit it. Big Ben appearing in Fat Head commercials is priceless. On the coach front, Denny Green, Nick Saban, and Jim Mora Jr (and Sr too) all said some pretty dumb things. Jim Mora Sr. may have been accurate, but you can't call the QB of the team your son coaches "a coach killer." The smartest quote this year was probably given by the Boise State coach, when asked how he came to decide to go for the win using a hidden ball Statue of Liberty play for the 2-pt conversion: "Well, we practiced it, and we hadn't used it yet, so I thought we should give it a try." I love that. An NFL coach would get his panties in a knot trying to calculate the liklihood of converting, factoring in crowd, media response, his owners response, and get himself all worked up about potentially losing the game, that he would forget how to go win it. "We practiced it, and we hadn't used it yet, so I thought we'd give it a try." I love it.

There's a naked chick I know who'd be all for dogs in bars. Actually, come to think of it, maybe she'd be against it. Oh hell, I don't know. Did I mention she's naked?

Athlete-speak for "I will sign wherever for the most money." I think he's gone. He's earned a big payday, and he has to take advantage of it. I'd probably take the most money also... Hey, wait a minute, I thought WGR doesn't talk about the Bills......

Some of these are old standby's, but there are a few funny ones, including an FSU shoutout to Ramius... COLLEGE FOOTBALL GUIDE (1) What does the average Michigan football player get on his SATs? .........Drool. (2) What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room? .........A full set of teeth. (3) How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room? .......Grease her hips and push. (4) How do you get a Florida State graduate off your porch? ..........Pay him for the pizza. (5) How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend? .........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup. (6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum? .....Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road. (7) What are the longest three years of a Miami ( Florida ) football player's life? ..........His freshman year. (8) How many Oklahoma freshmen does it take to change a light bulb? ..........None. That's a sophomore course. (9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco? ......... Durham , North Carolina . He knew that the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner. AND FINALLY (10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color? ........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

I actually think the original caption was right on, there was just a mix up in words: "Al Davis died in 1963, 12 years before new head coach Lane Kiffin was born."

Unfortunately, Nick, I think it reminds me too much of THIS, the worst helmet in football.

No way brother, he probably studied the prints for two hours wondering where a column that big could possibly fit!!

I was on a job site one time and the DEC was giving us a lot of problems as far as permitting and the like. Just a lot of ticky tack things that they were all over me about. I am not afraid to say that when this DEC guy went to lunch, he left his copy of blueprints and a camera at the site, and I snapped off a few pictures of my johnson on his camera. I was suprised that dweeb didn't come back and say that there was a new species of snake found at the site and construction had to cease immediately...

Alan Arkin in "Little Miss Sunshine" was one of the funniest goddam performances I've seen in a long time. His character gave some fantastic advice in that movie.