ieatcrayonz

Is it Lillywhite?

Is he related to Jim?

Trying to dish out information to normal people in a thread about Canadians is like trying to swim down the interstate.

You're missing the point. Canadians are dumb and engage in sick acts with pets. They are trying to cover up these acts by neutering and spaying the pets. They are even brazen enough to flaunt it on a magent. Who cares about paint on a car owned by a Canadian anyway?

Those magnetic ribbons on cars that started out saying "Support the Troops" are pretty cool. Personally, I think they should keep them for just the troops but I have seen some with other worthy causes. Today I saw a car with Ontario plates that had a ribbon which said "Spay and Neuter". My first thought was that this was a terrific idea. We do not need any more of those dumb things roaming all over the place. But when I got closer I saw little pawprints on the ribbon and realized that this dumb canadian was preaching about getting dgos and cats spayed and neutered, not gettting Canadians spayed and neutered. First off you dumb Canadian, don't take your ribbon space away from the troops. And for your information biology major, you don't have to spay and neuter your pets to avoid pregnancy, you just have to stop having sex with them.

Canadians.

Craponium 210

I don't know. He seems pretty smart. The Sabres regressed to the mean again last night.

You know what I do with anything $20 or lower? I fold them into a paper airplanes and throw them as far as I can. When you have my resources, a $20 bill is not worth the kinetic energey it takes to carry. I will carry every Pat Buchannan coin Jimmy can find for me though. Good luck Jimmy.

Does anyone know if Capri Sun has an NFL click for bags campaign or are they too greedy?

I've warned you about Capri Sun. Be careful. Earlier today I posted a nice thread about a company's charity drive. Here is the name of the company spelled backwards....... sllebpmaC They make soup. I did not know they competed with Capri Sun but the thread was deleted within minutes. Someone from Capri Sun is always lurking.

What about members of the Wall? Pyrite Gal?

I have to be discreet. Condoms exploding and references to such things is not discreet. Sorry. Don't cry. Learn from your mistakes and maybe they'll be an opportunity in the future. Also, if you somehow find Sammy, you're in.

You're fired again.

Or a Canadian. They don't celebrate Thanksgiving so probably not Christmas either.

Apprenticeship revoked. Forget about the light saver.

Good thinking but you got it all wrong. By tape I meant video tape. And even that is just a slang term. The technology I use is well beyond tape. You'd be watching Ritney's kids during the original "session". The good news is that you'd get to be a performer in the tape we swap in when K-Ted is knocked out cold. You might even get to use a light saver in that scene. Whaddya say?

Don't get ahead of yourself. Here's the deal. I'm going to use code names because many of my clients are well known celebrities. A client of mine, code name K-Ted, is getting a divorce from his wife, code name Ritney. K-Ted says he wants the kids but all he really wants is money. A third person, call her London Marriott, has been hanging out with Ritney lately. London is very "skilled". So K-Ted wants to catch Ritney in the act with London and a guy. He figures he can use the tape to get money from Ritney. K-Ted pays, up front, to have this "session" take place. He wants to be outside the window taping. What K-Ted doesn't know is that Ritney is already a client. I let her know the deal, and after the "session" K-Ted will be knocked out cold and we will switch tapes on him. Ritney has more money than K-Ted and will pay big. She also pays up front. What Ritney doesn't know is that London Marriott is also a client. London wants the session taped so that she can hold it over Ritney's head for a long time. Another tape will be rolling and I'll end up paid by all three. Ritney and K-Ted won't want to look as dumb as Canadians so they'll clam up. As you can see your performance will be critical to our success. Are you up for it? If so, let me know and I'll provide more details.

Any interest in being an apprentice? I can describe an upcoming contract and see if it appeals to you.

Most colleges have mailrooms right? The professors have mail slots right? I think you know what to do. Smash that thing. How do the Phlegm look in hoops this year?

Fuzzy Zoeller? That Muppet bear? You realize those guys can't really talk right? He's a puppet. Oh my God!

Well, the women do anyway. If you want to get technical, it's called an udder.

Well, I equated the hands to women. It's called an analogy. Sometimes when men make the mistake of introducing a second woman "into the mix" the women both lose their interest in him. At that point the men have to send their women to me to have me "re-kindle" the womens interest in the male. The rest is all a trade secret. I have made a lot of money. For clarification I should point out three additional items. First, all the money in the world, and I think I have 14% of it, cannot buy happiness. I miss Sammy with all my heart. Second, Lee really threw me for a loop. I was performing my services for her, or so I thought, but it turn out to be a two way street on that one. I am back to normal and expect to never have that experience again. Finally, I don't do Canadians. The men are way too dumb to understand what I teach and the women are so ugly that I cannot come up with a realistic billing schedule.

That wouldn't work. At first it would turn him on as the left hand played with the right, the fingers all intertwining in a rage of passion. They'd soon discover that they could please each other more than he could please them. Before long they'd both be ignoring him and he'd be off in the corner feeling all jealous.