The Avenger

40. So a guy walks by a pet store and one of the pet store workers yells to him, "Hey - you wanna buy a hamster?". The guy says no and tries to keep walking. The worker say, "Buddy, let me tell you - you REALLY want to buy this hamster - trust me". The guy asks why he REALLY wants this hamster and the worker says, "Because this hamster gives the best blow jobs around! Here, try it!". The guy protests, saying he's not going to pull his pants down, but the worker is persistent. Finally, the guy relents and sure enough, the hamster gives him the best blow job he ever had. The guy buys the hamster and brings it home. He walks into the kitchen where is wife is cooking dinner and throws it down on the floor. The wife is terrified, jumps up on a chair and starts screaming, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god - what is that thing?" The guy responds back, "Never mind what it is, teach it to cook an get the F$%K out!"

I believe there are some jobs Americans won't do - for the prevailing wage. Two industries that rely heavily on illegal workers working for low wages are farming (picking crops) and meat packing. There aren't many hard working Americans working those job for what the farmer/meat packer is willing to pay. I believe that if you wanted Americans to do tough and unplesant jobs you could probably get them to do it, but you'd need to pay them more. Americans won't sleep 20 to a room in migrant farmhouses or live without a car within walking distance of the meat packing plant in North Dakota - illegals will and do. What's the result? Larger profits for farmers/agribusiness/meat packers and lower food prices to consumers. Crack down seriously on illegals, replace them with Americans and see how expensive your next BLT is when the lettuce is $6 a head and the bacon is $6 a pound. People rail against the illegals but fail to see that they do provide benefit to us as consumers the same way we benefit from cheap labor around the world making everything from our shirts to our DVD players. I firmly believe that if we could outsource our crops and meat packing all of those jobs would go to Mexico rather than the Mexicans coming here, but logistics dictate that can't happen so we are where we are.

Perhaps it was a scene from the new season of The Simple Life?

Who is the only QB available with a Wonderlic score lower than his time in the 40?

It all boils down to how much time, money and resources you want to devote to the problem. Simply building a wall isn't going to solve the problem. It's a nice thought, but its not that easy/simple. If it IS possible to seal the borders, it's going to take a wall, plus a tremendous amount of border patrol/law enforcement/technology resources - a TREMENDOUS amount. So you have to ask yourself how much is it worth it to seal the borders and make sure NOBODY gets in illegally? Part of the answer has to take into account the mitigating effect of the benefits you receive from the current situation. Like it or not, you do get some benefit from illegal workers. Produce and meat costs are lower because illegals do much of the meat packing and produce picking in the country and they work for less than what most Americans would want to do the same job. Illegals take jobs that American DO want and previously made a good living at (construction is a good example). I feel for construction workers who can no longer command the type of living wake they once did due to wage deflation. By the same token, I feel for the auto plant worker out of a job because his plant closed down and moved to Mexico and the software developer whose responsibilities were shifted to a worker in India willing to take 1/5 the pay - both of those are legal (and sometime even encouraged in the name of corporate earnings/profits). Turning a blind eye towards illegal workers is sort of like allowing companies to outsource jobs that can't really be outsourced due to logistics (please don't think I'm advocating either, just trying to make a point). As for why we seem to only half-heartedly go after illegals (other than the resources required and the mitigating benefits noted above), ask yourself why we have ANY laws that aren't strictly enforced - what's the point of having a law if its not enforced? I don't know the answer to that, but I can tell you I've never received a ticket for going 56mph in a 55mph zone.

While business certainly benefits from being able to pay cheap wages to illegal workers, the consumer also benefits. The same reason we don't end up paying $6 for a head of lettuce because the person picking it works for peanuts is the same reason we happily shop at Wal-Mart and get a $39 DVD player made by Chinese slave labor...

Bart: I'm a pretty bad kid Cartman: What's the worst thing you ever did? Bart: Well, one time I cut the head off a statue Cartman: Oh, kinda like the time I didn't like this one kid, so I killed his parents, ground up their bodies, made chili with it and fed it to him...

The only move that would be worse than drafting Cutler would be taking a 5'7" receiver to challenge for the slot position at #8...

You forgot to leave room for the 5'7" WR we pick at #8, whatever his name is...

Just noticed that myself. When was the last time they had to play us with only a single week of prep? This is crazy...

NFL bars public ownership of a team - Green Bay has been grandfathered. The league would never approve that.

Anyone want to bet that Chris will again sidestep the musical assignment and cover another band's cover of a Queen song? My guess is that he's already rehearsing Metallica's cover of "Stone Cold Crazy".

I'm sad to say that my own son has the same heart condition, so this is going to be very rough for my wife and I. Although very serious, it is not common for children to suddenly die from it if they've had a good surgical outcome, but I guess you never know - just when you think everything is going well it can happen. Miracle Workers on ABC tonight will feature a story of a little boy with the same heart defect.

Thanks for all the advice. You always get a diverse crowd here, so it's nice to hear what people have to offer. My main goal is not to make any major faux paux (i.e. - not realizing I was supposed to do or not do something). As for attire, I'm fine with a suit - I just didn't want to over dress if it wasn't a suit type of event (although it's always more comfortable to be overdressed than underdressed - jeans are never a good idea).

I am going to a wake tomorrow and having never been to one (and also not being one raised in a church), I'm not sure of the correct etiquette - thought folks here could help. The departed is the 5 year old son of some friends of ours - very tragic as he died of heart failure while on his Make a Wish trip. The family is Roman Catholic (Irish). -The visitation is from 4-8 and I am assuming that does not mean I am expected to be ther at 4pm and stay for 4 hours - what's the protocol? -What's the attire - same as a funeral (suit/tie)? -Is there any protocol for sending flowers, or am I supposed to bring anything? -Anything else I should know? Thanks for your help.

I saw one in Lowell, MA about 6 weeks ago. The one I saw was an immature, so he didn't yet have his white head, but you knew it was an eagle because it was WAY too big to be a hawk. When I saw him I pulled over, got out of the car and got a nice look at him - looked to be about 2 years old based on his coloring.

Perhaps because they are barred from bringing this issue to public light? My guess is that FISA judges are sworn not to discuss any intelligence matters they know, as is Sen. Rockefeller. We don't really know what official channels were open to them to speak up and whether they availed themselves to that - if they did it didn't get much traction. Funny how when the free press gets hold of this story and brings it to light (after sitting on it for a few years in the interests of national security) people start hopping - my guess is that may have been the only way to get any traction on it.

One question I was asked (and later used when I was hiring) was : How many gas stations are there in the United States? Good question as it shows you how someone thinks and what they know. The key is for the person to have an understanding of how many people live in the U.S., how many may be of driving age and own a car, and how many gas stations would be needed to provide gas to that number of drivers. The right number isn't the important part - the ability to take a data point and extrapolate from it to arrive at a plausible number is what's key - how well does this person think (when I was asked this question I thought it out, showed how I arrived at my number and then when I sent the thank you for the interview later in the day made sure I had found the real number from the Internet and included it - it got me the job!).

Here's what we did with the kids - my wife's a Pats fan. I told her that if she wanted the raise the kids Lutheran that was OK with me, but they were going to be Bills fans. So, she gets them on Sunday mornings and I get them on Sunday afternoons - works out well!

Exactly. The Monday night game is going to be a chance for all teams to get at least 1 nationally televised game. The prime (or projected to be prime) game is going to be on Sunday night - doubt we'll see the Bills there (although I believe the Sunday night games have some room to be changed during theseason so NBC doesn't have to predict good matchups now - If the Bill suddenly start contending they could get a Sunday night game, but I'd bet my house against it). MNF isn't what it used to be.

The difference between Bledsoe and Moulds is the nature of the position. At 32 a QB still has some life left in him, particularly if he was never known as a guy who could run. At 32 a WR is on the downside of his career and all he has to do is lose 1/2 step in terms of speed and he goes from being a Pro Bowl guy to a #3 WR for an average team. Because Moulds is on the downside of his career and he plays a position where speed and agility are tops his value isn't what it once was, particularly if he's already said that he won't play another game for the Bills.

The flip side of this argument also holds true - if nobody is willing to give a 3rd or even a low 4th for Moulds and Eric claims he'll not play another game for the Bills, his value goes down. I don't know how it happens, but it always seems like the market price is very low for whatever the Bills are selling - remember what we got for Travis, even after going to the Pro Bowl? Last good trade we made was Peerless.

Comedian Ron White has a routine about this - when he was thrown out of a bar and arrested in NY for being drunk in public. His line: "I wasn't drunk in public - I was drunk in a bar, and they thew me into public".

Accusing you of not reading is a personal attack? Wow - maybe this baord isn't for you. I think that without a doubt calling me a name IS a personal attack, but I'm big enough to take it. I haven't found a site with Gore's tax returns, but if I can find them I'll gladly take the time to preview them and give you the same breakdown that I did for Clinton and Bush. No, I did NOT "double coount" any math. Reagrdless of any confusion or any perceived mathematical sleight of hand, it clearly shows that saying "The Clintons never give to charity" is pure bunk (but I'm sure it sounds great in the talking points and when Rush says it).

Thanks for the personal attack and name calling over a typo - that's really helps the discourse here (I'll refrain from doing the same). Typo aside, did you really think that the Clintons made $2.87 Million in 1992 and gave $1.13 Million to charity the same year, especially since I gave a range of years on the Bush tax returns? Sorry if that was confusing.