crazyDingo

I always get those two mixed up... Now, Cheech was the short one, right?

I'm so sick of the bad rap 18 foot, maneating sharks get in todays society. It makes me so angry see? What was that guy doing to bring it on himself? Dangling in the water in that tight suit, smellin like chum? Dont blame the shark--he's only human; hows he suppose to control hisself? Damn man, always tryin to keep a maneater down.

I thought it sounded like this: Throw it! Throw it! Throw the ball! THROW THE BALL! NOOOOOOOO!!! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!

We found this mouse in our beer, eh? Koo Ookoo koo- Koo Oook Kookoo

Think of a world where chemically enhanced players were loved and accepted. Where gifted young athletes were taken to the next level by synthetic agents. Where it was not only encouraged but expected? Utopia, you say? Maybe. Or maybe 1960's USSR Olympic trials.

I am willing to cut off my left hand and drop it in your soup and blind myself in one eye with your butter knife for 60%! My prices are INSANE!

THERE ARE SO MANY BAD PUNS HERE I REFUSE TO ADD ANOTHER! Maybe it was a chicken finger, they sell those. OKAY SO SUE ME.

If Al Gore was a quarterback he would be Drew Bledsoe, and thats all i'm gonna say. Lockbox.

THIS IS NOT A JOKE! Set the rusty blade of an iceskate from your crashed airplane on the tooth and then hit the iceskate repeatedly with the coconuts that grow on your island. Then name a volleyball Wilson and you'll have a really great time knocking your tooth out. THIS TOTALLY WORKS BECAUSE I SAW IT ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL OR SOME CABLE SHOW AND THE GUY BECAME FAMOUS AND WON AN OSCAR OR SOMETHING SO THERE. Good Luck.

Maybe the McCoys finally got him! </obscure reference>

AHEM... As attorney for Mr. Clutch I would just like to state for the record, your honor, my client was merely using hyperbole and in no way was impuning himself vis a vis the whole file sharing thing. He was sort of joking in a way, probably. Besides, who would defend the Record Industry?

Boy, I wish my employer would give ME a hummer. Or at least a little kiss. I might call-in sick less often.

Lets see, I would trade a Clark Bar for an O Henry if they threw in a 4th round pack of peanut m&m's.

You laugh but that juiced cranium SAVED THAT MAN'S LIFE. You see, clinically speaking, since there was no organic brain matter there to provide an equal but opposite force, that ball would have just crushed his head like a robin's egg. Then where would baseball be? Scrawny, thats where.

Its just another way for the Man to stick it to us. ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!

Dear Jose, What kind of long hours, constant practice, self-discipline, good nutrition, and moral compass would you suggest for today's young athle-- oh, wait a minute. Nevermind. Well, at least I can ask you what the hell kind of juice you had your ego on. It never wore off! Now THATS the shizzle. I'll take a bottle of that if you can wrestle it away from Barry Bonds.

Hmmm, they asked his ex-girlfriend, huh? Jeez, I wonder what my ex would've told them: "YES he used steroids. On school children which he regularly kidnapped and sold as slaves to the RUSSIAN TERROR network before cannabalizing villages of elderly nuns." Not that he doesnt use 'roids. He does.

Ya know what? As long as his thumb has reached the age of consent, I dont think its our business. (Insert your own Travis/Age of Consent joke here.)

Great Avatar! We could all learn a lesson from the evil, parallel Spock universe. Just think about that a minute.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: THE LEGAL PURPOSE OF THIS POST IS TO DISCUSS THE HYPOTHETICAL APPLICATION OF AN IDEA IN STRICTLY SCHOLARLY TERMS Hey thats a really funny idea. If anyone knew HTML code they could save the page, modify its headline, rename and replace any photo and BAM your own fake newstory template. This would be great, hypothetically, for people who know enough about simple HTML to have some fun. I dont know what kind of deviant would use such a method for a practical joke on a family member or coworker, but I think we could scholastically agree it is possible

Trade him to Toronto for their field goal kicker and a case of Golden, eh? TD would make sportcenter headlines and say something like, "We thought the world of Travis, but we dont think his representation explained our offer in simple enough words." YOU OL FOX YOU!

I saw JP in the desert. He was 900 ft tall and he just kept saying "Whats up, Big CAAAAT. Whats UUUUP?" and looking at me with those terrible burning eyes. I was like, I dont think that was beef jerkey I ate.

A long as it isnt the same technology that developed Jar Jar Binks.

STOP RIGHT THERE! DROP THE PARADE! DROP IT! We have terrible luck after every parade we throw. Wasnt McKinnly assasssinated at a Buffalo parade?

That isn't what I said. Him! What he said. That isnt what HE said. He said we were LUCKY to have a kicker so good from within the 10. And I for one agree. It almost makes me ashamed to be part of this community. HIM! Makes him ashamed. Oh boy, I better start calling the local sports talkshows:devil: