crazyDingo

Bighairpalooza.

I'm gonna set my clock ahead by 90 minutes and get a real jump on things.

I have a suggestion that would make the game better for small-market teams and fans and the sport in general: PLAY SOME FRICKEN HOCKEY YOU GREEDY PLAYER PUKES AND YOU STUPID OWNER PUKES! See how the boys in maketing like that.

I live in Vegas and your WAY off-base. Hold on... I'm on the phone with the front desk at Bellagio now (no joke): CD: Hi. Do you accept check-in on Saturday? Front Desk: What do you mean? CD: Can someone check in on Saturday? FD: Of course, we're open 24-7. CD: Yeah but can you, say, only spend one day there? Like check-in on Saturday and only stay for Saturday, if you wanted? FD: Sure, if you had a reservation. We fill up pretty quickly... CD:Have you worked for the front desk at any other properties? FD: Yes, I worked for the Mirage. CD: Do you think they have a policy like that? FD: (laughs) No, thats sounds strange never heard of that. CD: Thanks. Bye. ACTUAL CONVERSATION NO JOKE. Be sure you find out if there's a big convention in town that week. Sometimes hotels will institute strange policies to maximize profits during, say, COMDEX or CES. Good luck. heh-heh, luck, get it?

All well and good but I think the real question here is whether or not Manning could beat Brady in a footrace... Why, I'll bet Drew Bledsoe could beat them both in a footrace and I'd be willing to watch it on pay-per-view. <WHY IN THE HECK DO PEOPLE KEEP BRINGING UP BLEDSOE?! HE'S NOT ON THE TEAM ANYMORE!> Because he makes me laugh. That simple.

Mitch the Hed is dead, they said. "Its not a joke its what we read." It wasnt on cable tv, on CNN or NBC, his death, I guess, some mystery brought about by his OD on heroin or PCP So R.I.P. ol' Mitch the Hed your fans all wish that you werent dead. The End.

OH NO! I wonder if they'll sell the University??? WE'RE DOOOOOOOMED!

Holy Cow! My girlfriend's sister has a roomate who works in a diner and a customer there said his neighbor went to high school with JP's cousin and he said JP probably reads The Stadium Wall! I was so excited I threw up on my shirt. Go JP! GO BUFFALO! Go Bills! GO WNY! GO Jills! GO CHICKEN WINGS!

Good thing she didnt have a hemorrhi... I cant do it. I just wont. Too easy.

Uh-oh. This is really gonna give professional athletes a black eye. Um. No , I meant it will give the government a black...Forget it. I look around and its nothing but black eyes. Isnt there anything pure anymore? Isnt there anything innocent and beautiful? Is it all just scandals and lies? Yeah. Probably. EDIT-- Yes, okay Jessica Alba IS innocent AND pure AND beautiful. But in a dirty way, so it counts.Okay so thats one.

Wasnt he IN the Waterboy?!

Good one.

I... The Bills? Uh. You know...Hmph. Never really...thought ... Fine. <sigh>

I havent watched SCIFI since they canceled Farscape and I order everyone here to stop watching TV until they bring it back! Guys, we have the power! If everyone stops watching TV they will bring it back. THEY WILL! THEY WILL! AND I DONT MEAN SOME STUPID MINISERIES! I swear-- if I catch even one of you watching TV before they bring back Farscape I will put a frowny-face icon next to this post: There, okay, you drove me to it.

I would just like to say "You're welcome." As you can see, I have over 100 posts which probably makes me one of the most senior posters here--I havent really checked how many posts others have because I'm pretty sure 100 is near the top. I'll bet by the end of this year or next I will be up to 200. So, dont be intimidated by old dogs like me, we're all just mortal superhumans.

This is really gonna give baseball a black eye. No, I mean basketball. This is really gonna give basket...er... I mean Owners. Yep, this is really gonna give Owners a bla...umm... Sigh.

Cat-like? Like BIG CAT! That kinda cat-like?

How long have you been doing this FAT and what is the most frequently repeated question? Are you keeping score?

I call mine a holster.

I'll field this one, AD. (ahem...) spice it up with a little: "BAWK! BAWK! ba-GOCK" and do the Mick Jagger thing with your arms. The chics love that. Chics, get it? Chics? <crickets>

No, Marcellis Wiley is a kitten. I'll tell you how bad he is: He never gave Boomer enough highlights to grant him the nickname Marcellis Wiley Coyote "Jake Plummer scrambling for the first, when! out of nowhere! Marcellis WILEY Coyote! And ITS A FUMMMBLLLE! Now Wiley Coyote has become the ROAD RUNNER! Whooop! Whooop! Rumblin, Stumblin! He COULD GO ALL THE WAY!" Nope. None of that.

Recommended summer viewing list for JP: Patton--check Braveheart Rudy The Longest Yard (Original) Dude, Where's My Car? (optional)--check Am I missing anything?

YOUR WINNER: Connect his horn to his brake lights so every time he approaches the intersection some jerk is honking at him. He will probably catch on right away but I bet the first time makes him jump out of his seat through the windshield. Ummm...yes, I see. My attorney has asked me to edit this post to advise you to not actually do that, ITS MERELY THE HYPOTHETICAL APPLICATION OF A THEORY.

Okay... He's at the microphone now... I'll paraphrase: "Thank you..." "Optimistic about JP..." "Expect great things this season..." "Wish we could keep everyone but the cap doesnt allow it..." "Working on trading TH but not giving him away..." "Wish Drew Bledsoe the best and hope he can understand all of Bill Parcels playbook..." Well, thats about it. Even though I dont get Sirius I'm sure if anyone heard the actual interview it probably went like that.

I would like to add, post mortem, all the posters who left TSW when Doug Flutie, Rob Johnson and Drew Bledsoe left. Their contributions will never be forgotten and they will always be available as outstanding examples of fringe behavior. (I will root for so-and-so wherever he goes and I hope the new guy breaks his leg) Who can ever forget their requests for automotive advice, homework assignments, movie reviews and QB cheerleading? A moment of silence in their honor...