crazyDingo

Is there fair weather in Buffalo? I'm a miserable weather fan.

In the Land of the Blind, the One-Eyed Man is King.

"But I must tell you, I love Coach Jauron," Bingo. Welcome to the LoveFest.

Quiet or they'll get Ralph's granddaughter to design a new patch.

Dick will step on a rake the first game, fall out a window in the second game, stumble into traffic, be hit by a bus, run over by a steamroller, be walked on by a marching band then pissed on by a puppy...then it will our bye week. EDIT: press conference highlights: "Ahem, clearly we would like to not have been pissed on by a puppy, but that's where we are and we'll take it. Its hard not to fall out a window in this league. Do I what?...I always think your coaching to avoid being marched over. I thought Trent did a great job after I was electrocuted and a safe dropped on my head, he really practiced hard this week."

You guys are hard to please trouble-makers. This season's theme is "continuity"--we've been planning this for 3 consecutive 7-9 seasons. Look, they put the red buffalo in the middle of the zero. You get it? Is called "creative continuity," people. If they go crazy with some razzmatazz logo and sharp uniforms, what's next: an exciting season, a new coaching staff? Where's it end? A Super Bowl? We have a bananas-and-milk owner-- not one of your MTV, spicy chicken, Ferrari guys who gets your stomach all knotted up with excitement. Its bad for your digestion. Now go take a nap in your new $50 t-shirt.

If we drafted 7 players in the first round they would be badly coached.

If we move Poz we're gonna need someone else to make tackles 8 yards downfield.

Wake up, Mr. Wilson. We're in a meeting.

If they can change the logo and sign Fred Taylor, probably no one will remember we haven't won a playoff game in 13 years. If they change the color of the end zones people will be like, "Remember those Super Bowls we won?"

Finally, a running back. All the holes are filled!

Hey Kids! Now you can hold your own Dick Jauron Press Conference with these authentic phrases: "obviously" "we were disappointed, clearly" "I really like these guys" "It really hurt us" "We’re working like heck (we really are/he really does/they really do)" "That's hard (preparing, executing, winning)" Mix and match 'em all season long! Season after season! Comes with wooden doll and headset. Batteries not included or needed. Ralph Wilson approved. Void in Boston, New York and Miami. No refunds.

"Ahem. Well, obviously the game didn't end the way we wanted it to. I though Trent had a terrific game. The first interception wasn't his fault and the fumble there at the goal line hurt us. But he's young and he'll continue to learn. We had a great week of practice; they practiced hard all week, they really did. So we're 0-8, not where we wanted to be half way through the season, obviously, but we've got a lot of football left and we're going to play hard. This is a hard league to win in. Questions?"

I watched a feature on ESPN the other day, it was an approximately 6 minute segment on the AFC East this year. The Bills weren't mentioned. THAT is what we are.

As you all know I work for the Bills concession stand on Sundays. Not trying to brag or anything, just saying. I overheard an exec with the initials RW talking on his cell phone while he was taking a piss in the aluminum piss trough. Someone said, "That's not the piss trough, that's the sink." Well, he said, "Its a piss trough, now, son." I think this means we are prepared to make Albert Haynsworth owner of the team and hire Terrell Owens as receiver's coach. Stay tuned.

If you're a millionaire athlete you should have one guy carrying your gun and another guy carrying your weed.

Maybe he was visiting James Hardy's dad's place.

Scott Norwood tried to kick a towel rack off the wall at a 7-11 in Hamburg. He missed wide right. edited: I'm sorry.

A-train was a great choice and everyone else we've brought in from Chicago has been dynamite. Why not?

I just talked to Marshawn's mom, we worked together on a Big Ted's Used Tires commercial, and she told me Marshawn's agent has confirmed Marshawn was arrested after yelling, "I'm Marshawn Lynch of the Buffalo Bills! I'm worth millions! Beef Mo'e!" I drive a 1988 Ford Taurus with a green door.

Our players guarantee playoffs.

We're gonna need somebody who will be good for 5 or 6 games and doesn't mind fumbling with a minute left.

I paid for a stimulus package at the Sundowner. Came with a lapdance.

maybe it was medical cocaine.

Just havin a little fun, Bucky, untighten your panties. Your mama does.