I feel as if I need to reply to you. Just went through the same exact thing. In fact we moved to NC to get AWAY from my mother -in-law. The people on this board were really helpful. I was at my last straw, and my wife stepped up and put her foot down. She said that she needed to be respected as an adult and wife. Of course the MIL thought that it was me telling her what to say. But the result is we are no longer talking...actually she isnt talking to us, but results achieved. If your wife wont stand up, then you need to. It got so bad when we were living in fla, we couldnt get the whole family together because the MIL didnt like this or that person and would make an ass of herself. If you need some more ideas or comfort or whatever, let me know...I FEEL FOR YOU, it does suck....but you need to focus on your relationship and what is best for that.