Joe, I am an expert on this topic both personally and professionally.
1) Hating her will be harmful to you both physically and mentally.
2) She probably doesn't care at all whether or not you are sitting around angrily focusing on her.
3) It DOES get better.
4) Keep busy. Read, go to church, go for long walks.
Good luck Bro and believe me, things will improve sooner than you think.
Judges don't care at all who cheats, as long as you don't engage in sex in front of the kids. Besides, how many cases do you think are actually heard by a judge.
Divorce is one of the worst things on earth. I liken it to the death of an immediate family member but as I told Joe above, it gets better.