Roger Goodell

At least you beat New England. The NFL likes to see parody parity.

I see now that I've hammered big bad Suh, the criticism of my discipline policy suddenly disappears.

My office would consider fining Johnson for his actions if he wasn't already a league laughingstock.

There are many young Giants fans. As a rule they will experience fewer emotional and psychological problems in life compared to young Bills fans.

I think we're all very happy that this is not the case.

Correct. Plus Captain Morgan isn't a sponsor. Who? You mean that Fitzgerald guy in Buffalo? No one watches them anyway.

Shhhhh.....that's supposed to be a secret.

Brian Dawkins can expect a big fine for that one. We can't have players constantly getting hit in the shoulder pads.

The NFL is a family league and thus celebrations of alcohol icons are not tolerated on the field. State Farm is a good, wholesome brand. Not to mention an NFL sponsor.

The receiver was not given the opportunity to make a "football move" after catching the ball so the call was correct.

The NFL's scheduling is designed to reach out to our emerging fans, those who might not be familiar with all 32 teams. Naturally we want to encourage them and give them ample opportunity to become fans of the Colts, Steelers, Packers, Cowboys, Jets, Eagles, Saints, Ravens or Patriots. We thank the loyal die hard fans for your continued patronage and know that you are looking forward to our next national broadcast that will not feature your favorite team.

Sweet, but what a stupid article. I'm sure the guy isn't enjoying the WS at all with $125K in his pocket and another $250K on the line. Plus, if the guy is smart he's already gone back to Vegas to lay a $125K bet on Texas so that he's guaranteed to come out $250K ahead no matter who wins.

Hell, I already have.

Don't get your hopes up. The NFL's anti-Tebow conspiracy isn't going to give up that easily.

You fans have nothing to worry about. Trust me.

So much for the Aaron Maybin renaissance.

Isn't that more like 'fellow citizen is watching'? p.s. Welcome to the war on terror, Elma! They've been running that ad campaign in NYC for almost 10 years.

Don't worry. I'm going to get some coffee right now.

Yup, time to blame the messenger for the US being $15T in debt and having no plan to address the issue.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Come on now, did you really think I'd let a great reclamation story like Vick go to waste? I've got a business to run and TV ratings don't come from Buffalo.

I feel your pain. Really I do.

Oh. Why on earth would anyone give a rat's ass what the wife of a burnt out rocker from the '70s thinks about anything?

Yet another reason why NFL >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> NHL. It looks like a logo that someone would create for a bad movie. Have those idiots learned nothing from the Islanders' dreadful fishman logo or the Sabres' banana slug?

Who is Sharon Osbourn?