See, I'm stuck with Time Warner cable, the Sans NFL Network cable company.
I have to see this scrimmage or I'm going to pace around the house cursing Ted Turner and his family. I'll be throwing punches at an unseen foe.
I don't smoke (anymore), don't stink (generally), won't complain about my beer options, won't steal that heirloom off your mantel, won't covet your wife, and won't eat too much. I'll pet your dog, cheer at all the right moments, and get all Archie Bunker on the Packers.
References available upon request