I agree with most of this post. and I can say that I was in the same type of situation that Diva is in. The problem I guess was that I interpreted the girl's actions the wrong way an awful lot, but at the same time she used that to her advantage. It can't be a two way street or there will be issues. Over the past 5 years that I have known the girl, we have had ups and downs in our friendship, but I think a big part of the picture is if the guy can get over the sexual/ emotional attraction. That was the hardest and most painful part for me, but I have grown up.
As far as things being different: they will get better (most likely), but will also have a different dynamic than before. The more you try to force things to go back, the more resistance both of you will have. The more you embrace the change and maturity, the more comfortable things will be between you and him.