John F. Kerry

My problem is that people actually remember what I said previously. It makes it difficult to pander to the electorate and just tell them what they want to hear, instead of what I will do for them, when they know what I said at other campaign stops. An informed electorate will be the downfall of my campaign.

You guys are really creative here. My new campaign slogan: "Vote for me. I will do less harm to the country."

Hey, I will say whatever it takes to get elected. It beats taking a stance on something.

Thanks for the new campaign slogan. "Vote for me because I am not Bush" is now "Vote for me because I am the lesser of two evils." The election is a lock, now.

Great!! Now, if I could only get my wife to shut up, I might actually pull one over on the electorate...I mean win the election.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

I like me. Wait...no I don't. Wait...yes I do. How does a firm maybe sound?

I would NEVER use photo-ops like that. I was in Vietnam. Blaming it on the crew was a bad move. It is much better to blame stuff on either a Secret Service guy or the speechwriter, like I do.

Exactly. We need to tax them more, so that there is more money to spend on my new government programs.

But, if we raise taxes on the rich, we will have more money to put into the system. It will work, with enough money.

Ummm...uhhhh....Bush Bad.

Tenny, is that you?

Nothing to see here. Move along...

Did you know I was in Vietnam?

No they didn't, which make it that much worse that they spend MORE money to fly around people who mean LESS to the country. I repeat what I said before, you guys are really embarrasing. No wonder my campaign is in free-fall. Idiots like you are killing me.

How is this different from any other administration? How much was spend to fly Chelsea and Hillary around the world? A HELL of a lot more than $6000 per trip. Start in the five-figure range, per person. You people are really an embarrassment, with the crap that you focus on during this election. It is no wonder why I am slipping in the polls.

ENOUGH ALREADY!! Who the hell cares. I spent a lot of my campaign talking about this stuff, and where did it get me? I am slipping in the polls, I am losing support of my base, and Democrats are coming out and blasting me saying that I need to stop talking about Vietnam. I am constantly changing my campaign personnel, in order to stop the hemmoraging. It is obvious that the American people are tired of this crap and want to hear about the other things effecting our country, but people like you still want to try to make this an issue. Here is a thought: STOP IT. It is doing nothing but help Bush get re-elected. Why the hell are my supporters so blind to that fact?