Tux of Borg

It's painful enough just to hear her talk.

If ESPN really cared they should make him pee in a cup. I don't see the big deal. It's not my place to tell people how they should live their lives. If Irvin wants to get strung out on coke, more power to him. I think Ricky Williams showed what happens when you smoke dope. You end up living in a shack, you have no money, and the bill collectors will find you.

Woah.... let's not get carried away here.

Whew.... we almost found a way to !@#$ that up.

Roscoe is too small to play inthe NFL.

He was the mastermind of the oklahoma city bombing.

KC 13 NE 0

Oh look..... Conspiracy? is on the history channel right now.

End of the 1st quarter.... Let the slaughter commence.

Panthers 2 Bills 0

Now I know why you have 50 billion videos of half naked men.

Perhaps you would care to elaborate on your position. I thought LA made a good point. Doesn't hard work = success?

Are you telling me that the son of satan can't pull some strings to get us a superbowl victory.

Kind of like creating a new helmet design out of crayons.

You'll need all the resources at the NSA to break this code.

Don't get me started on the !@#$in union topic today. Our union recently had a vote to accept/reject the latest contract between them and our company. Unfortunately, the union failed to send us a copy of the contract we were suppose to vote on. How the !@#$ am I suppose to make an educated vote when I don't know what the hell I am voting on. On top of that we had to travel an hour away (2 hours round trip) just to cast a vote. I've been a member for 5 months and have never received anything from them. No contact numbers, no handbooks, nothing... Yet, they never have any problems taking $12 a week out of my paycheck. Bastards. </rant>

It has two meanings that I know of. 1) Slang for fake or phony 2) FIP = !@#$in Illinois (or Indiana) People

Sounds like Lindsey Lohan to me.

Yeah, what would Joe Simpson do if he didn't have his daughters to exploit.

What other Sabres do you think should join him? Lafontaine, Ray.... Satan (for the games he actually decided to show up for)

Your honeymoon is about ready to end. You'll be lucky to get a half a round out of her in a month or two.

Monday Night Football

New Rules New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years - you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn. New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you from a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain, trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive. New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards. New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done. New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water. New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis. New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the !@#$. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge !@#$. New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy. Paper, plastic? I don't have time for that. I've just been called to do a cleanup on Aisle Nine! New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high. New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show." New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two packs. New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the theater a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie. This one is a real stretch. The preponderant number I have seen the last several years should never have been made into a movie or TV series. New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting. New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. New Rule: When you move to the United States - You must learn to speak English or just never talk again... which ever is easier.

Year Team G Tckl Ast Sacks Int 2004 Bills 16 37.0 16 2.5 1 2005 Vikes 9 27.0 12 1.5 0 Was letting him go a good or bad decision? Judging by the stats, he is having a better year this year than last.

(with first-place votes in parentheses) Rk. Team Rec. Votes Prv. 1 Southern Cal (50) 11-0 1,586 1 2 Texas (14) 10-0 1,550 2 3 LSU 9-1 1,449 4 4 Penn St. 10-1 1,390 5 5 Virginia Tech 9-1 1,283 7 6 Notre Dame 8-2 1,281 6 7 Ohio St. 9-2 1,249 9 8 Oregon 10-1 1,107 10 9 Auburn 9-2 1,101 11 10 Miami 8-2 981 3 11 UCLA 9-1 932 12 12 West Virginia 8-1 862 13 13 Georgia 8-2 857 14 14 Alabama 9-2 723 8 15 TCU 10-1 722 15 16 Fresno St. 8-2 663 16 17 Louisville 7-2 522 18 18 Texas Tech 9-2 448 21 19 Florida 7-3 384 20 20 Georgia Tech 7-3 347 -- 21 Boston College 8-3 319 23 22 Michigan 7-4 235 17 23 Florida St. 7-3 214 22 24 Wisconsin 8-3 160 25 25 Clemson 7-4 141 --