Guffalo

Thoughts an prayers on the way!

No Oprah is actually sending 1099 to the govt, all free and clear, 1900 bucks for each person in the audience in taxes...Still can't figure out the blackberry....

Sorry, Im in Florida, limited access to PC, although.....Pat was on Oprah's Favorite things yesterday (Monday), she cleaned up like a bandit!!!!! Thanks !!

Well, I think you would have to quit after the first or second time.

Oh how true...Thats why I drive a 89 ford fairmont and live in a single wide trailer, that way I know she really wants me for me, not my money. By spending my money on valuable art pieces like 32 different Velvet Elvis murals (16 are one of a kind, although I have 2 of the King playing cards with some dogs), my 2 different mullet hairpieces and my extensive chia pet collection, I have everything I need. The only thing missing is someone special to share my bounty with I think once my sister and her two kids move out, I will be able to save up enough to get my tooth fixed, and I may even have enough to get my backhair waxed so that I don't scare children at the local pool. When the day comes that I am ready to make a splash in the dating scene again, I will use my tried and true woman catching methods that have worked here for years: Go to a family party, Get there early, to make sure you can spike the punchbowl before the aunts know what you are up to. Sit back and let the good times roll, soon enough you will have all the cousins come to you, keep a few cold ones in your trunk for the "afterparty" with that special one, and in no time at all, the trailer is a rockin! It so beats the flashing cash method.

My brother in law is a painter, he has been staying with us for a few month, the reason he gave is, "Most times you end up with light colors anyway, 90% of the ceilings you paint are white, and thats where you get drips from. When painting the trim or walls in darker colors, there will be drips and brushed marks on you, but thats not generally the paint that you get on your clothes, its the white from the ceilings. Also, when the cloths get dirty, you can bleach the bejesus out of them to clean em."

Let's pray for no wardrobe malfunction......

We will be staying at Vistana Resorts off !4 near lake Buena Vista. I have my wife and 3 kids, (although I doubt they want to leave the pool) and my mother-in-law. I may just sneak out and watch it alone, but I don't know the area well enough. I was thinking of someplace at universal, but they are all basketball. Would like to be with Bills fans.

We will be in Orlando this weekend, anybody know any good places to watch the game?

ok fixed it, sorry, my eyes are getting a little itchy.....itchy eyes

fixed, new link Yikes!!

Well, he started it in the spring, when DB was cut and KH was picked up, he added along the way to update.

I always wondered why they named that club after McGuire, I mean, the Kelly club and the Van Miller club.....Ok I get those, but Paul McGuire Club? WTF?

I smell a "real men of genius" commercial for this guy We salute you, Mr yellow jacket end zone security guard.....

How else do you explain lipstick residue and nipple welts on your face?

Certainly not, I'm a Bills fan, no Dolphin love here

My day was probably worse than that, I had some 20 something porn star wannabe, long blonde hair and legs as long as the goal posts, and all she kept saying was "its so warm here" she kepts peeling off her coat, then her denim shirt, finally down to a very thin T-shirt. Once she was down to her t shirt, it became apparent that maybe it was a bit too cold for that attire, since the turkey thermometers in her shirt were indicating that she was completely done. Due to the length of her legs , she would alternate between leaning forward and resting her breasts on my shoulders, or stretching her legs out on the seats next to me. At one point, she had one leg on each seat on either side of me, and her well cooked turkeys on my shoulders. Although she couldnt have weighed over 135 pounds, these things had to weigh 20 pounds apiece. I tried to tell security about my problems, but they refused to do anything. It got even worse as the game went on, since she would whip her long blonde hair in a circular fashion whenever the Bills made a great play. Just try to concentrate while being carressed with long blonde hair that smells like honeysuckle, while the Bills are driving! After major plays (TD's and interceptions, sacks) her legs would grip me vice like and sometimes make me spill my beer. After TDs she would go to high five people near me and as she leaned forward, those damn things kept slamming me in the face, at one of the colder points in the game, I almost had my eye poked out from her "high-five/turkey-thrusts". Finally by late in the game, she decided she had to get going and I was able to relax for the last 4 minutes of the game. I don't know if I will make it to any more games this year, but I hope she has the decency to behave herself next time, otherwise I'm onna have to have my seats moved.

Well, apparently he avoided the julia Child/ax-murderer/Kate Moss date thanks to some intervention by this board. Pete lives on

That's not true, most ex-wives are very happy

In some cases there was a back in the backfield, but since every play this guy described had play action pass you kinda lost count. At first we just thought he was a drunk, then we realized he was always like this. We had learned to drown him out, but in the middle of a frustrating season I had finally reached the end of my rope. Funny how the guy would get heads to turn, and you could see his companions actually cringe when people looked in the direction of the guy. Even his Pats and Jets fans who bought tix would look sheepish when people looked for the origin of the moronic statements.

We moved our seats from the lower bowl, sec 136 because we had a guy who was convinced that play action pass was coming up each and every down when Buffalo had the ball. Even in a 5 reciever set he would start with "here comes the play action pass" finally after 6 years of hearing this idiot I finally said "you have to have a fake handoff, and to have to fake a handoff you need a running back in the backfield" He just looked at me like I had just impregnated his dog, and started shouting for "another" play action pass. We used to call him Van Miller wannabe, because he would give a play by play of everything (although Buffao never deviated from his play action passes), and it was incredibly annoying. Amazingly enough, according to the new Van Miller, Thurman Thomas was playing for Buffalo right up until the 2004 season, I mean, this guy's play by play calls had him in there for some big carries! Once my Dad swapped tickets with a freind from the upper deck, by halftime, the couple were standing in the aisle saying "Gee, thanks alot, wanna switch back, we have seen the difference " By late in the season, the guys family usually tired of his commentary, and he would attend, but usually with people that he sold the tickets to (patriot fans, Jets fans). It was a running joke in the section, everyone would wait on opening day and then "Van" would show up and everyone would smirk, disappointed that he wasn't killed in a horrible car wreck, or murdered by a co-worker over the off season. We finally gave up and had our seats moved away from this guy, it just became too distracting.

He was the brides first husband, he was happy, no more alimony

Driving Miss Daisy

Shaving Ryan's Privates

Well, they have shown willingness to plug the gaps, and with our D, we need those who can give up the body seal the creases.