Guffalo

Ohh it was all good fun, we would be in a much worse mood if we lost. I agree, if Willis played like that every week we would be somewhere. Trade Vilma and Willis will be human against you, that's what motivates him. See ya next year (unless you run into me on Long Island)

I wondered the same thing, apparently he is stuck on the Grand Central Parkway with his pee stained clothes, should be home about 11 PM, maybe midnight, there were 80,000 people there.....most of them angry.

I grew up in Buffalo, still have seasons in Buffalo, moved here because my wife lived here, Once a Bills fan, always a Bills fan!

Can you elaborate on how much luck we will need?

Athletic............................Watches Sports 24/7 Romantic..........................Horny 24/7 Driven..............................Lost license with DWI Financially Secure..............Living with Parents Athletic Build.....................Fat,paunchy former little league baseball player Social Drinker...................Lush

Well, staying home doesn't allow you to maximize your full potential as an asshat. To reach your full potential as a chucklehead, you must get trashed with as many people around as possible, it's a way to share the joy!

True, a quick look shows OTG would be able to drop a 4 win week, putting him in good shape.

Or two other dogs

happy B-day Sybill

Happy Birthday Cindy!! Have a great one!!!

We have the account here, sorry for the length, I felt it was important to capture the emotion of the day..... "Sweat lingered on his brow as he pulled the high tuned Honda off Hempstead turnpike onto the Hofstra campus, Phil's fingers griipped the wheel as he pulled up to the guard shack. The silver buckle of the guards belt was at eye level as he rolled down the window. "Name?" barked the belt buckle owner. "Umm I'm Phil the Jets Phan, you know, the Jets #1 fan of the week?" The guard waddled back to the shack and and perused a clipboard. With a gap toothed smile and a weak wristed wave of his wrist, the barrier rose and PhilPhan entered the sacred grounds of Jets camp. Pulling into the parking spot labeled # 1 Jets fan, Phil's stomach did a double flip when he looked at the nameplate on the parking space next to him "E. Mangini HC of the NYJ". He glanced at the black and white cadillac with the funny orange front bumper and odd striping, he reminisced about playing batman as a child. He stepped up and out of his trusty Honda steed and walked past the car of the HC of the NYJ. Looking up at the inflated practice dome, he felt his knees weaken knowing that this #1 fan was so close to nirvana. As he headed towards the main building housing the Jets temporary offices, he could peer through the glass doors and see movement inside, a glint of silver passed from the left. Passing through the doors he looked in the direction of the silver movement and could make out Curtis Martin lumbering by on crutches. He stopped on the green and white marble floor and stood before the receptionist. "May I help you sir?" The sweet voice carressed his ears as he looked among the tendrils of hair looking for the face that gave breath to the phrase. He located her painted face, a twisted smirk beneath her bent nose. "Umm, Im Ph..Ph..Ph..Phil the Phan # 1 Phan" he stammerred. "Oh right, call in show or something?" "No, I was selected " Phil said proudly. She stood up and peered left and right, looking suspiciously at him "Are you from the Howard Stern show or something, is this some kind of joke?" She was interrupted by the phone which rang at her desk, she answered it, and looked at Phil while listening to the voice on the other line. "Yes, he just came in, a Chad Pennington dressing room date? uh huh, ok, I'll send him your way" She replaced the phone to the cradle and pointed her painted finger down the hall, "Down to the left, Hall of Heroes, third door." Phil's stomach did a flutter as his feet guided him to the hall of all that is right and good in Jets nation. He located the door, above the door rested a plaque "Dedicated to the Heros of the New York Jets" and below the inscription a faded, sepia toned image of Leon Hess, founder of the Jets peered down at this weeks #1 Phan. The doors creaked open as Phil pushed through them, a long room opened before him. Adjusting to the light Phil could make out at the end of the long room stood an altar with a floor to ceiling green velvet shroud trimmed with white faux fur. Along the walls leading to the altar were portaits of past heroes like Burkett, Nagle, Cowart, and Testeverde, Phil felt light headed in the presence of such greatness. He was drawn to the altar, he approached and stood at the base. Before him lay a pair of oversized footballs embedded in the floor, between them a long, rounded wooden shaft was affixed. From the top end of the shaft another football was mounted, pointing skyward. Carved into the wooden shaft was the current owners last name. A voice boomed overhead "Thou shall rub the Woody Johnson to open the chamber" Phil looked skyward seeking the voice, it boomed again, startling Phil "Thou shall rub the Woody Johnson to open the chamber". Like the cowardly lion Phil started to tremble like virgin at a Club Med toga party. The voice changed tone and pleaded "Cmon Phil, rub the woody, we gotta get to practice already" Phil reached out and placed his hands on the woody johnson and cranked it towards him, looking at the velvet curtain he noticed it twitching, he repeated the movement on the woody johnson and again noticed the cutain begin to open. He furiously pulled and tugged and thrust the mechanism until the curtain parted slowly, as the johnson fell to the floor a puff of smoke eased out of the football at the top of the staff. Phil looked upon the altar, there before him lie Chad Pennington, dressed in a cutoff T-shirt and a pair of body armor green shorts. He lingered and drank in the moment, he trembled at the sight of "the chosen one" Chad beckoned him to the uppermost section of the altar, he addressed PhilPhan " You must prepare me for battle " Phil looked around, and noticed the practice uniform which lay on the bench next to Pennington. He selected the garments wisely and reverently placed them upon the chosen one. He as he slipped the pads over the shoulder, Phil carressed the right shoulder to pass on good luck and strength to the warrior. When the dressiing ceremony was completed, Chad looked at Phil and nodded and the walked off to the practice field, Phil wept. The next thing Phil remembers is standing in the cold parking lot, spent and weakened. He wandered over to the chain link fence and peered in to see the chosen one just one more time, there before him stood Pennington, in the prctice gear that he had so lovingly placed on his God-like body. Pennington winked and mouthed the words "Thank You Phil" The phan named phil, sat back in his Honda, closed his eyes and embraced the lasting image of his chosen one. He felt warm inside.

Keep your infighting and inbreeding to yourselves, however, I am just warming up, I was made aware of the extra special event that you were invited to regarding the "Jets Fan of the week" I will be sure to chronicle the event as it unfolds, I live nearby the Jets practice and will be able to cover the action as it happens.

Agreed, however, at 11 AM the sunbstance that splats from the body retains the same odor and consistancy as the previous nights ill timed stop at the Castle of Phil's Phoolish Phriends. Funny how most kids around here get sent to Albany, Buffalo and all the upstate areas for education. When they are there, the parents rest assured that the kid is safe and secure. Yet the locals love to trash upstate.

I'm not talking NYC proper, why waste time with queens and kings counties. Not worth the trouble, most of those guys are Giants fans and stopped dating thier kinfolk after they gave up breastfeeding.

Ok folks here are the tips Phil wants me to pass along: 1. Dairy Barn is a store that sells hangover helper called "Chocolate Milk" guaranteed to quell any hangover. 2. Long Island is shaped like a fish, therefore when referring to your location, be specific about where on the fish you are. 3. Two counties in Long Island, Nassau and Suffolk, Suffolk is larger and farthest east. Home to inbreds and backwoods types, if Phil falls into this category, he is dating his sister or aunt. If he is from Nassau county he trolls Hempstead turnpike on Friday nights in a nitro charged rice burner Honda Accord or crap like that, waiting for the "G" club to open so he can score some south shore punani with the rock hard hair and spiked heels. 4. When Phil grew up (well, when he finally grows up) he hopes to buy a home somewhere south of Sunrise if he is near the south shore, if he is a north shore guy, he is shooting for Huntington, but can't afford it, so he goes for Huntington Station and tries to convince everyone that its gonna change. 5. Phil and co. will have you believe that they are die hard Pennington fans, yet in the most recent draft they were screaming for a new QB to be picked, hell they have been screaming for a new QB for the last 2 drafts. 6. There are several parkways used to get around Long Island, they either go East/West or North/South, this makes it easy for people like Phil to get around. 7. The highlight for a Long Island boy like Phil is when he gets to go to Robert Moses State Park and go to the nudie beach, it gives him hours of happy thoughts when he is alone in Mom and Dad's basement apartment. 8. Late night fare for Long Island Jet fans: Age 15-25> White Castle burgers (rotten, foul, gray meat/flesh cooked in onions and steamed to a gelatenous mess). If he is older, and able to handle a fork, he will go to a 24 hour diner, order a double cheeseburger platter and then vomit in the parking lot. 9. Waits patiently each year to add to his valuable Hess truck collection which he guards with his life, banking on sending his loin drippings through Nassau Community College with the windfall that this fine collection will surely bring someday in the future.

Somehow I've got a feeling Phil here is a Massapequa High School graduate (barely) who now works in Dad's plumbing business. After waking up in his spiffed up pad in the garage/apartment of Mom and Dad's split ranch (It's a Terra!), he gets into his Accord and heads to get bagels on Merrick road before going to the shop. Once he gets to the shop, he drools over Newsdays latest raves about the Jets, and checks around on his websites to make sure Penningtons arm didn't fall off overnight. A quick review of the upcoming schedule and it's off to brag about his favorite team to a new group of fans. Since the Giants have been losing it has been easy for Phil to focus on just one team this year, earlier this season he had to be obnoxious to two different fan bases, but since the Giants slide, he has completely converted to Jets hysteria, but just until the Giants win a few or the Jets lose a few. Sunday he will rise at 5 am, get the car loaded up with tailgating accesories and head out to Giants Stadium, He lucked out this week, the game is at 4PM so he can leave at 6 Am to get there in time! After quaffing 17 beers he will be doing his best Joe Namath impersonation "Cmon Sooooozeee, gimeeee a kishhhh" while handing his ticket to the ticket girl at the gate. He will then take a nap in his seat, wetting himself while those around him scream as the Bills bring the Jets back to earth. His buddies will pour him into the car and they will embark on the journey home, waking him up around the Meadowbrook Parkway to make sure he is somewhat sober enough to find his keys among the piss stained clothes in the garbage bag in the back seat. As midnight nears, his buddies will pull up to his house and put him out at the curb, as he wanders to the garage/Philster pad entrance, the half naked man, with a garbage bag of clothes in one hand, and his Hess Foam #1 finger covering himself, he staggers through the tacky Xmas decorations on the front lawn. As he slumps to the futon/couch in his den/bedroom he gently drifts off to sleep wondering if the Giants won, and is it too late to jump on that bandwagon....

This years candidate for weathervane of the year JSP and the weathervane PS I wanna keep Parrish

As I said before, grow up, Canadien bashing is getting tired.

I am an American citizen, but for the last couple of years some idiots on this board seem to take love to take shots at Canadians, it is terribly annoying and childish, grow up, come up with a new shctick this one is getting boring.

Happy Birthday Lisa! (from Aussiew logged in at Guff's house)

Talk about blowing a load.....

Happy B day in spite of the big lug that stayed home to ruin your day!

I'm pretty sure Jay wears the same stuff that has been bandied about in reference to Lana's nighttime attire.

Washington Elementary School, Kenmore NY 1969 Mrs. Farnham 5th grade All I know is she was kind and caring and what impressed me was sometime during the school year, her house had burned down, She and her family had lost everything, but she never missed a day (that I recall), never complained, always came in with a big smile and words of encouragement. She made the biggest impression on me growing up.

Windex bottle full of ammonia and you are armed and ready to go