Marv's Neighbor

Worldwide virus reactions; “The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Mash more Grapes and Drink more wine” The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.” Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. The Russians have said “Its not us” The Irish have quarantined themselves in the pubs .....Again..!!

This is old news! Jimmy Griffin told us to grab a 6 pack and stay home, years ago.

Wait a minute! We went from exercising at home to problem solved?? Did we miss the miracle?

Can they do a choke hold just using their elbows? No fans = no crazy people = boring!!

“They do a very good job of social distancing,” quipped Heidi Hedberg, Alaska’s public health director." She's not talking about the dogs.

There are worse places to be "stuck." They do have wonderful food there.

Forget it, he's rolling!

If she keeps doing that, natural selection should kick in!

Is this a surprise from a market that boo's Santa?

Looks like they don't eat much!

Wanted to see if it was really that bad? Costco had a note at the door that they had no bottled water or toilet paper. Other than that, it seemed pretty normal, or as normal as could be expected on a Sunday. Wegmans did have bottled water with a 2 case per limit. Surprised to see that the Pop & chips were very much depleted but not entirely gone. Didn't go as far as the toilet paper aisle but all seemed to be very normal and orderly. Considering all the apparent hysteria on the news, it was a very pleasant surprise.

"You tiny brained wipers of other people's bottoms!"

Beer makes you brave!

Just when I was going to suggest finding some beavers!

Does she have any sisters??

Have not heard anything about what this is doing to Las Vegas. If it's still busy then the NFL would look foolish to abandon it. What could happen? Wouldn't the virus you caught in Vegas stay in Vegas?

In an out Burgers. If you use Drive Thru, you can avoid the sometimes nasty walkin'n'out.

Irv would know this.

Can she get handicap parking?

Shouldn't let them stand in your way!

They have wine tasting there?

Looks like it would be a better fit for the Chargers.

They are the best and I appreciate the gluten free bun. Always order a foot long, with everything, but they don't have foot long buns, so it hangs off both ends. No problem there!

My neighbors are going today! They cancelled their flight and will drive. The Mrs. has an elderly father and she's afraid of picking "something up" from the plane. I guess I get that but I'd go and probably fly too. A flight too Florida from here is only about 2 hrs from here, depending on where you're going. Not like they're going to Singapore!

Can't wait 30 years.