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Marv's Neighbor

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Everything posted by Marv's Neighbor

  1. Didn't read this in the article but heard that they only rent to "locals." If that's true, tourists need not apply.
  2. Hide everything except the DUCT TAPE! He'll figure it out.
  3. How did it get on you??
  4. Surely there have to be plenty of action shots from Hammers & other tailgating.
  5. Too bad there's nobody coming up to pick up where Mel Brooks left off! Certainly no shortage of modern day material.
  6. I'll "bet" that between the unexpected injuries, opt out, and Covid, Las Vegas is going crazy trying to set odds for this "season."
  7. Could this be another reason to hate Summer?
  8. Does the Villages have a team?
  9. Are you near Lake George? It's pretty easy to see there.
  10. Maybe they could cover it with one of their hi-tech roofs?
  11. People are no longer taught RESPECT! A Thank You note is a simple sign of respect and gratitude.
  12. He's never outrun he cops.
  13. Waiting for the the cold weather test results.
  14. No $35 hat for me. I'll put that toward; Sahlens, Webers, & Bison Dip.
  15. Having worked there a long time ago, 80-82, the only thing that kept me going were the area liquor SALES. There was a lot of competition too, so you could always find a deal.
  16. The Laws of Life 1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe. 3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers. 5. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now 6. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring. 7. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 8. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!! 9. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 10. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. 11. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 12. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. 13. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug. 14. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about. 15. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. 16. Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET! 17. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it! 18. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick. If you don't forward this to your friends, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off. Really... It's true. I read it on the Internet!
  17. Not a big C&W fan but he was special. RIP Charlie!
  18. If they'd take a few rows of seats out on each airplane, and give us some freakin legroom, "social distancing," and flying attitudes would improve.
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