Crap Throwing Monkey

Good thing my wife's name is entirely unlike "Leslie".

Otherwise known as unintelligent design.

I always saw the Darwin fish as just a rather amusing joke. I had no idea people took it so seriously.

It gave him hair. That was a start.

Let me rephrase for him...I've SEEN such things in stores for years. What someone really needs to create is something that trains the cat to flush when they're finished.

But Reed was only on the field for 3+ WR sets. Otherwise, it was just Moulds and Price.

"Taking Flight"? Should've called it "Taking Ipecac".

And the fact is that kids who have been doing it, have been for a very long time. Glue-sniffing has been around longer than I have, and it amounts to the same thing: inhaling something that intereferes with respiration and/or oxygen absorption. Ban canned "air", and they'll find something else to use. Ban everything, and they'll hold their breath until they get dizzy (which is basically what they're doing already). It's not going away... ...and frankly, I'm not sure I'd want it to. If you're too stupid to know the difference between a high and oxygen deprivation, you are literally too stupid to breathe.

Sure, I'd do it. If people are dumb enough to announce to the world "Look at me! I'm thtupid!", hand me the scalpel and I'll gladly assist them... ...or did you mean have it done to me? Hell, no.

Per episode. "Bottom of the hour...time for some cheap K-cars to roll over through an intersection while a tanker truck drives through and explodes for no discernable reason..." I remember back when I was in 2nd grade, a couple miles from my house a truck from the local quarry overheated and caught fire...as people started to approach to help, the driver jumped out and started shouting "Run! I'm carrying dynamite!" or such. Truck did eventually blow itself to hell...but the thing that amazes me, thinking back, is that people actually DID run from it. Nowadays, you'd get a bunch of yahoos pulling out lawn chairs to watch the show, thinking they're safe because no one ever gets hurt by explosions on TV...

Right, you heathen athiest. Next you're going to try to tell us that television evolved from radio...when everyone KNOWS God created the TV out of nothingness, because he took Sunday off and wanted to watch some friggin' football...

It wasn't exactly clear from the context, was it? I still say that, rescue or no, surviving the crash of a truck loaded with explosives is REALLY friggin' lucky.

I miss his good mood. It was a mood that changed the world...

They'd planned on it...but when they found out that Daddy Day Care wasn't up, everyone lost interest.

Of course. That was hilarious. But he forgot the obligatory short joke, NG's gotta get with the program here...

Have him stand on a chair first so you don't have to stoop down as far.

So the truck's pretty much gone, but the two people in it not only survived but are listed in fair condition? That's when you know it's time to play the lottery...

Jessica Simpson. Basically, she's too stupid to accomplish anything, so I'd trust her not to actively screw up the country.

Because the futures market is used to hedge. You're a bulk consumer of oil, you'll be buying on the spot market in October but you don't know what the price is going to be, so you buy some futures as insurance against the October price being too high. Then the spot market sees the price going up in the futures market and says "Oh, the price of the futures is going up, guess it's underpriced in the spot market too". That's not the whole story and is pretty over-simplified, but it's basically how the commodities and even more so the currency markets are used, and not dissimilar to how the stock and bond markets work.

Otherwise known as "politician".

God bless you Gavin. This is a birthday that changed the world...

4. The market's pricing in the risk of a bad Carribean and Atlantic hurricane season. Supply is so tight that any disruption in the Gulf of Mexico tanker ports and refineries could be seriously bad, so industry's hedging.

Seriously...the kind of oratory talent it takes to make that sound convincing is the main reason the guy was a two-term president.

You complete me.

I am.