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Crap Throwing Monkey

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Everything posted by Crap Throwing Monkey

  1. SO WHAT????? WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?????
  2. I fail to see the need to interview Cheney at ALL, frankly. Though I find your statement to the effect of Fox not being part of the media amusing...
  3. Maybe it's not broken. Try looking at this: Gaydar reset site.
  4. Since the movie's being released by Sony Pictures, I figured I'd go burn the Japanese embassy in protest.
  5. Run out? Here? Never happen...every time we hammer one down, a new one pops up. It's like one continuous game of Whack-a-'Tard.
  6. Not ALL women do. Just the ones we objectify. The ones we actually know...that's a different story. My wife didn't get chocolates and roses today because her ass looks great in those jeans (it does...but that's just a perk.) And if I ever find the bastard who gave her the chocolates and roses, I'll !@#$ing kill him...
  7. Last time a woman said that to me, she was talking about strip poker... Last time a woman said that to me, she wasn't talking about naked tennis. But hell...I'll try anything once...
  8. None of you are any sort of match for me... 'Cause I can deal seconds and off the bottom. I cheat.
  9. Screw that. I want a Dick Cheney smiley. A smiley with a shotgun that accidentally shoots other smileys...
  10. Minority Report. Pretty good...but it sure wasn't Daddy Day Care calibre...
  11. And my 20th reunion is next year. Why do you think I'm looking at these exotic Asian mail-order chisels now?
  12. I've had it with that crap. Whittington is NOT DEAD! This isn't so much directed at you, as much as the !@#$ing idiots who keep telling me "Cheney should be charged with manslaughter!" How the !@#$ do you charge someone with manslaughter when they haven't killed anyone?
  13. Johnny Coli and Jimmy Page.
  14. Bull. None of that actually happened. If it did, I would have heard about it on the news...
  15. But he had to, because he couldn't arrest her until she did something illegal!
  16. Problem with that logic being, you have to be rather close to kill someone with something that light. If you're going to try to stage an accident with that gun, with that load, during something as choreographed as quail hunting...good luck. But you're probably better off waiting for deer season, so you can hit him with something heavier in a more accident-prone environment.
  17. He didn't get fined. He had to buy a $7 postage stamp. And it's not illegal to accidentally shoot someone when you're out hunting. Stupid, but not illegal.
  18. Not since you licked them clean. And please don't act out your homoerotic fantasies on me ever again.
  19. And by the way...I never offered you a dozen hookers. I offered you a dime. I'll send it along after I get my chisels, and you can spend it on your own damned Italian hookers.
  20. Beautiful chisels, too. Japanese chisels are the best; they back a hardened steel cutting edge with a softer iron core for shearing resistance (and make it concave, as well), which makes them stronger and better able to hold an edge AND easier to sharpen. Man, those are gorgeous. Think I'll set 'em up as my wallpaper.
  21. I just know the ballistics AFTER it leaves the barrel. At close range, the combination of hot exhaust gas and pellets acts like a single solid, cohesive object. As it travels and cools, it loses cohesion and starts to act like a swarm of individual round pellets - and "round" is a really sh------- ballistic shape, so the individual pellets lose energy rapidly. Which is why Whittington still has a head. He was hit by a swarm of pellets. I don't know how far away from Cheney he was at the time...but another two or three yards farther, and he probably wouldn't have sufferred much more than having a handful of gravel thrown at him.
  22. Nothing to hit. Same reason Whittington's heart attack was "minor". Of course, the reason Whittington survived to begin with was because he was hit in the head and, as a lawyer, there were no vital organs up there either.
  23. From what I heard, the hospital reported it as minor. It's not like the guy suddenly grabbed his chest and keeled over...the hospital staff noticed an arrythmia, ran a blood test, and found the enzymatic markers for a heart attack. And this insight you have into what Cheney's actually thinking and feeling about this situation at any given moment is simply breathtaking. Practically psychic. You weren't recently exposed to radiation that suddenly gave you superpowers, were you?
  24. I'm not. You told me they smelled like that, remember?
  25. One can hardly blame her for packing on the pounds. I mean, if your brother were a pedophilic freak whose face was literally falling to pieces, and rail-thin...wouldn't you try to disassociate yourself from him as much as possible?
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