Ok...so I cheated and pulled a couple of these off some site. GOD I love the internet!
"How about a meatball sandwich, a medium coke, and your phone number."
"What are you people...on dope!"
"When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV."
"When a guy has an orgasm, how much comes out?"
....." A quart or so."
"The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays or prays. Whatever happens, your toes are still tapping."