aussiew

Just make everything simple - give up sex for football. Works for me.

I will renounce my fanship when I take my last breath.

Thanks EZC. Couldn't find it on TV down here.

Please drive carefully everyone.

The Biscuit.

I'm not sure it was much help when #34 ran up and down the sidelines ranting his apologies for his fumble after half time in Bills SB #4

Didn't have time to go to snopes to verify these. But I found them entertaining so thought I would share. Sent from my brother in Australia. With apologies to our French Bills fans. Enjoy..... A few noteable Military riposts ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building' by George Bush. He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return. You could have heard a pin drop. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?' A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?' You could have heard a pin drop. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?' Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.' You could have heard a pin drop. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE... A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. ' You have been to France before, monsieur?' the customs officer asked sarcastically. Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously. 'Then you should know enough to have your passport ready.' The American said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it.' 'Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !' The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. 'Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any damn Frenchmen to show it to.' You could have heard a pin drop.

Why not hop in a cab and go to a real Bills Bar? The Stake Out. Near the college.

And remember...our QB is a California boy. Please don't pray for bad weather..

The way I see it, Trent may need some more neurological testing. He seemed "off" for the last few games. Yesterday, even when he had time and openings, his throws were inaccurate. Additionally, a lot of his "caught" catches were off the mark. I'm starting to wonder if he has a late developing perception problem as a result of the concussion

So, the two tourists from Ridgeway....were they gay? ...not that there's anything wrong with that.

I hate "The thing of it is" or "The thing about it is" . Used a lot here in Texas also People saying they will be "out of pocket" instead of "out of touch". For those who are guilty of this, out of pocket actually refers to finance. When you pay for something yourself instead of being reimbursed, it is considered an out-of-pocket expense.

You sound just like a Cowgirls fan.

Cindy was so stiff and cold - she must have been so pissed to not make 1st Lady. Did anyone notice how John barely mentioned her in his speech and when he finished, he tried to kiss her and she turned her face and offered a cheek. Then they walked off the stage without touching. What kind of a wife wouldn't show some warmth and support to a guy who just lost the presidential election?

My jury is still out on Obama. However, I think he has more world respect than GWB did. I'll feel more comfortable with him handling these delicate global issues.

Sorry to detract y'all from arguing about the results of the election, but I just heard a rumor from our Mexico City office that Putin is making some ugly statements this morning with strong challenges to the US. I haven't found anything on the internet. Does anyone have any info?

Agree. And if other countries have growing respect for our leadership and vision, won't it also encourage them to invest more? Thereby helping to stimulate our economy?

It was even on down here in Dallas. I have no college affiliation in the US, but it still felt good to see a team with Buffalo on their jerseys to beat a team that had Miami on theirs.

Don't read this if you can't laugh at yourself. MESSAGE FROM HM THE QUEEN: To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA therefore not be able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up `revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: ———————– 1. The letter `U' will be reinstated in words such as `colour,' `favour,' `labour' and `neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell `doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix `-ize' will be replaced by the suffix `-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up `vocabulary' ). ———————— 2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like' and `you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter `u" and the elimination of `-ize.' —————— 3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. —————– 4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist,then you're not ready to shoot grouse. ———————- 5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. ———————- 6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. ——————- 7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it. ——————- 8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. ——————- 9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. Australian beer is also acceptable, as Australia is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. ——————— 10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having ones ears removed with a cheese grater. ——————— 11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call Soccer and the other is Rugby. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). ——————– 12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians first to take the sting out of their deliveries. ——————- 13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. —————– 14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776). ————– 15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season. —————— God Save the Queen!

Yes - I think we have the talent to win. Now we just have to see if our team goes on the field with the confidence to win

It's always nice to see Fletch again though.

Is your real name Heidi?

The weather was really nice in Dallas yesterday. The cowgirls looked worse than we did.

Walking out of the stadium after the Bills first Super Bowl win!!