1b. When your roach of a car starts making previously unheard weird noises while driving to the movies, tell her confidently that you just put in a rebuilt carbuerator "all by yourself."
1c. After her mother, who is a nurse at an OB/GYN starts telling you, just after you meet her for the first time while your waiting for your first date to begin, that teenage pregnanacy is "horrible", turn to your date and say, "well, do you have any condoms or do we have to stop at the drug store"?
The above really happened. 1b is acurate, in 1c I ignored mom.