some people are like that. Paranoid about their stuff and annoying with strangers in their house. But who cares? Say "sis, I'm a grown man - don't need to talk to me like I'm 6 years old". In and of itself it's not a big deal.
same as above.
I have not experienced it, but this seems like something that is very common for parents to say to other parents - especially ones who like to think they are wiser than others (your sis). But I don't think this comment is over the top or extremely rude.
this is a tough one. This situation gets tough and annoying so you left. It may have made things easier for you - ie, no argument, no awkward dinner and put the kid to bed at the right time - but think about it from the other side. In their minds you requested dinner earlier than they expected, they went out to buy groceries and when things ran late you left them with a refrigerator full of food and ran back to the hotel.
sounds like you don't need a fight, but take her for a cup of coffee and explain your situation to her. Say "sis, i know we lead different lives but sometimes I feel like you talk down to me...we raise our kids different and that's fine - but let me do things my way and you can do things your way". Discussions like that aren't fun but they are necessary.
It is unfortunate that you don't have a great relationship. Your sister is a pain in the ass (She is a woman - and a lot of them are pains in the ass) but it also sounds like rather than address your problems with her you bite your tongue and avoid conflict. With this plan I don't see anything changing in your relationship. My older sisters can be a bit annoying, but we get along pretty well.
yeah, right now there is a guy on a pats message board bitching about his damn brother in law who always f's up the remote, who doesn't discipline his kids and who puts them to bed at 7:30.
Good luck with everything.