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Gavin in Va Beach

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Everything posted by Gavin in Va Beach

  1. You know they have this thing called paper towels, maybe you've heard about it. Apparently, when a liquid has been spilled (peed) onto a hard surface, you rub this paper towel doohickey over it, and amazingly it sops it up. Must be fuggin' magic or something. I've even heard that if you're worried about germs, they have this thing called Clorox Clean Up (I've heard other manufacturers make a bathroom/floor cleaning product that compares to this, but that could just be crazy talk) which contains bleach or something, and if you spray it on the pee it kills the germs. Oh and it can be cleaned away with the paper towel thingy too. Hope that helps man(?).
  2. I believe the word you are looking for is pussified.
  3. He'll go back to scoping out the local playgrounds for Mikey just like he did before the trial...
  4. Just let me know when a sniper takes care of ole' Mikey...
  5. Brilliant! But make sure you eat the dead cat, else all these namby pamby types will be calling you an animal abuser and reporting you to PETA. Then you'll have those losers picketing in front of your home night and day and you'll never get laid. If you fry that cat up with some onions and potatos then you won't be an animal abuser, just a regular ole' hunter!
  6. Hell no. Besides, as the esteemed American Ben "Ron Jeremy ain't got nothin' on me' Franklin said- "All cats are the same in the dark."
  7. You could score big in the douche bag dept if you have any nude photos of her that you decided to share with your TSW buddies...
  8. Therapist: Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here. Frank: Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not? *** Hmmm...on second thought, maybe that isn't such a hot idea....
  9. "Somewhere, over the rainbow..."
  10. **EDIT** God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left. "What's it called?" asked Eve. "Brains", said God. "However they cease to function whenever you are in a shopping mall."
  11. This woman is fuggin nuts and I can't believe she's getting this meda hype about being a 'victim' of some shopoholic syndrome because she lost hubby on 9/11. This country is fugged! *SOB* I spent $500,000 on shoes to get over my husband. Help me!
  12. You make too much sense. Who let you in here?
  13. Here ya go Pooj, behold the healing power of crystals! Course, whenever I've swallowed a crystal or two to heal a malady, I usually just pass them and see them sticking up out of my stool...and the malady remains. I don't think they work to well with me...
  14. I didn't know Petrino was moonlighting as a Pats fan...
  15. And sitting in those meetings all day long, even the ones that take place at the golf course, is hard damn work. I'm surprised more execs aren't trying to unionize for better working conditions...
  16. Actually, the message of those photos is that their parents might as well take all the money they're spending on little Johnny and Jane's college and set it on fire, for all the good it's doing them...
  17. Phew. I was worried that the top execs might lose out on their millions. Glad to see they are still being taken care of...
  18. Dude, from your post it sounds like you broke up with her some time ago, at least in your mind (and I, in what later turned out to be a mortal sin, admitted that I really didn't daydream about her too much either-many of whom thought I was cool and that she was an idiot) and you simply didn't have the balls to pull the trigger. Thank her for helping you out. You'll find someone else eventually and will thank her over and over again for getting out of the way.
  19. TD made SilverNRed's girlfriend break up with him. Probably gave her the cats that jumped on his balls too.
  20. Saw one of those today as a matter of fact. Had like 5 of them but I only remember the 'Peace is Patriotic' and 'You Can't Legislate Morality' ones. The 'You Can't Legislate Morality' is the only one I needed to see to discern that the guy is a liberal maroon. All laws are attempts at legislating morality, what you can't do is make an individual moral through legislation. Big difference.
  21. Wow, what an ending! Really tied the whole story together...
  22. Hmmm...we'll have to take your word on that one...
  23. You must be one of those 'red diaper doper babies' (I think that's one of his lines)...
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