To piggyback on your riff ...
John, this stream-of-consciousness brilliance makes me wish you were writing Tom Robbins-esque novels instead of covering football practice. (Although I suppose that because this thread wouldn't exist without those practices, they do serve some useful purpose. And I also suppose it's merely a coincidence that Robbins, like The Good Doctor, once graced the pages of a sports section. Something in the water there, perhaps. )
Keep those jingle-jangle fingers flying, my friend, and we'll see you this weekend.