Lori

Well, that would give the Ralph-is-cheap crowd something to do ...

Same thing I was wondering.

What they said. Kidding aside, the Bama fans did this when Saban was hired.

Well, Ralph DOES drive a Taurus (or did a couple of years ago, anyway) ...

Or like T.O. and Rosenhaus did, via Russ Brandon's "friend with a plane."

That post contained a typo, you know. Editor-at-heart that I am, I corrected it. And just as one typo stands out in Tim's copy (or our own), McKelvin's opening-night screwup and Parrish's bonehead plays set the tone for how people perceived the performance of the Bills' special teams this year. When we're so used to watching the top unit in the league, all of a sudden, 10th -- although still a darn sight better than any other part of the team excepting the pass defense -- looks like "horrible," and April acquires the "overrated" tag. Adding one more set of numbers: in April's six seasons here, the Bills special teams were directly responsible for scoring 13 touchdowns (six kickoff returns, five punt returns, two Moorman-to-Denney fake FGs) while allowing just one kickoff-return score. In the six seasons preceding his arrival, the Bills managed three ST touchdowns and gave up six. (That's regular-season, mind you, and thus does not include one notorious kick return we're all thoroughly sick of seeing every January.) Thanks, Coach April, and good luck with whichever team signs you.

For the record: 10th KO return average, 26th punt return average, 9th kickoff cover average, 11th punt cover average. No TDs allowed. Moorman's net: 40.2 yards per punt, 8th. So, minus the punt-return average (profoundly impacted by Parrish's apparent desire to play his way off the team) and keeping in mind the fact that McKelvin's injury left KO duties to Fred Jackson, remaining in or near the top 10 is now "horrible." So noted.

You are. And I'll leave it at that.

Obviously.

Already been fixed. Also, try churning out several thousand words of copy a week without a single typo and see how far you get. Not sure I've done it yet, after a year and a half at my paper.

Figured he would be, as soon as he didn't get the interim job when Jauron was whacked. He'll have his choice of landing spots.

There's this. There's also the thought that after April -- Jauron's assistant head coach, remember -- was passed over in favor of Fewell for the interim job, he may not WANT to stick around...

Useful information to know. Glad to have a link; better late than never. Not if I can help it.

Actually, I'm working on a story from the basketball game I covered "outside the internet" earlier this evening, and just stopped by here to check out the ongoing hilarity in this thread. Appreciate the suggestion, though.

42 (and counting) today, more than all but two of the other losers here. And if you hurry, you can catch Dellapelle for second place before midnight.

Considering that said organization has just put together one of the least-successful ten-year runs in the history of both the team and the league? By now, we're all familiar with the ugly numbers posted in the "Aughts": one winning record (9-7), four 10+ loss seasons, and no playoff appearances. Yes, an objective observer might conclude that the Bills could benefit from applying a skeptical eye to every part of the franchise, even if just in a consultant's role. Unless the conspiracy theorists are correct, and someone atop the hierarchy is more concerned with season-ticket sales than on-field results ... I'll add that after talking to a few people in San Diego who have nothing but the highest praise for Nix's work out there, I'll at least give him a chance to put his own imprint on the organization before passing judgment. I do think he's only got one chance to get the coaching hire right, though, or the honeymoon could be short.

Billick, eh? The same Brian Billick whose crappy game management allowed Miami to take Baltimore to OT in 2007, where they eventually won their only game of that season? Brian Billick, the one man standing between the Dolphins and 0-16. For this, he can never be forgiven.

Without even clicking on the link, it has to be one of KSK's "Tawmmy from Quinzee" parodies. Those are normally pretty friggin' funny ...

As I said, "interesting."

Interesting. Wasn't Schottenheimer your "odds-on favorite" the day of the Nix announcement?

When I read the Bills' release, I thought about dropping in here to ask someone else to translate it to English for me. Well, yeah, of course they've completed their obligations for the 2009 season. Like Lance Briggs said to the Chicago beat guys when he walked away from them today, "Season's over."

(merged with all of today's other Schefter/Cowher threads ...)

Likewise -- GB/Lambeau is first choice, but think finding tickets would be rough. For those who made the KC trip this year, how was your ticket experience? That one was nearly blacked out, as I recall. And I still have to hit Miami at some point ...

Chris isn't a coach. He's part of the training staff. And yes, there are probably better ways to describe him than calling him "Mini-Me." http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2005/...5dsports-01.asp (Some of you might recognize the byline ...)

It troubles me to think that Mike Greenberg (who proposed the same idea about divisional games this morning) might make sense for once, but IIRC, that's how last season played out. Fins-Jets and Bills-Pats in Week 17, and presuming they'd found some way to score a few points, the Bills could have actually had a say in the AFC East race. As it happened, a Jets victory would have cost Miami the division title. Oh, wait -- now that I think about it, Greeny was merely reading an e-mail he'd received from a listener. THAT'S why it made sense. Some other ESPN talking head was insane enough to suggest canceling meaningless games like yesterday's Colts-Bills matchup and offering refunds to ticketholders. NFL owner$ giving ca$h back to fan$? Yeah, like that'$ ever going to happen ...