Cugalabanza

But they'll always have that great album, "Permanent Total Full-Force Abandonment Of All Sensibility."

My girlfriend's car had the same problem. You have to take the Nine Inch Nails cd out of the stereo and promptly smash it to pieces.

Drew, lookout! Move! Get rid of the ball! Sorry...flashback

I'm sure you are already aware of the mysterious nature of the famale monthly mood cycle. But now that you are in close proximity, you must be very careful. Always respect its horrible power. And please, please, for your own safety's sake, never refer to your girlfriend's period out loud as "BJ week."

The TD took my baby awayhay... took her away... away from me-hee.

The problem is that these negative points NEVER GO AWAY! Every woman has a secret karmic bank ledger for every man she knows. Take any random shmuck you see on the street--there's a guy whose life is being held hostage because he forgot to do the dishes one day in 1992. Lunacy! Utter lunacy! Perhaps I've said too much.

The entire AFC East is in the top seven. Whaddya gonna do? Tough division.

My job sucks assballs! The reason I usually give for hating my job is that it's challenging in all the wrong ways. It tests my patience, not my intelligence. It tests my tolerance for pain, not my creativity or problem solving. My bosses take advantage of me because they know I'm reliable, but they don't respect me or ever give me credit or value my opinion. They are not honest with me. They are not trustworthy. Others in my department feel the same. We are underappreciated and short-handed and miserable. I am gradually gathering the strength to stop complaining about it and just find something else. ...I like to do a little bit of the ole drinky-drinky myself when I get home.

TD tried to kill that pretty young Goldie Hawn in that movie Foul Play with Chevy Chase.

The contemporary male is a gay Freddie Krueger Oompa Loompa?

I was astounded and impressed by the sheer philosophical content of this movie. Moviegoers will find themselves carried away by the eloquent discussions of the nature of sentience (e.g., can an automobile really love?) and artificial intelligence. Miss Lohan stars as Maggie, the fiercely intelligent superscientist / racecar driver sent from the future to teach us how to suck. The finest American Science Fiction film since Captain Ron!

I'd be really really surprised if he gets convicted of anything. The prosecution made fools of themselves in this case. In the end, all their arguments boiled down to "aw, come on, he's guilty--he's such a weirdo, he must be guilty."

I can't explain it, but this one makes me feel happy. Thanks, GoBillsInDallas!

If I had 15 kids, I'd do stupid crap like this too. Anything to get out of the house!

TD is responsible for my continued interest in the Buffalo Bills, which makes me come to this message board. Today I read the post about the Chinese guy who pulls a train with his ear and it had a strange effect on me, making me feel sad. Damn you, TD!

I don't know why, but this made me feel sad.

Here are a couple good anti-Scientology links: http://www.scientology-kills.org/ http://www.xenu.net/ Obviously, these are slanted and try to poke fun of Scientologists, but there's good info here. Only recently (in the last few years) has the real Scientology doctrine been made public--and it's pretty ridiculous... space aliens from trillions of years ago, etc... There's a reason Scientology is not allowed in most European countries... because it's a cult designed to make money off of people they target as vulnerable. Of course the version they create for celebrities is very different. Tom Cruise's Scientology is designed to coddle Tom Cruise (and to provide great PR to recruit lots of suckers).

It was a sad day when I found out Katie Holmes was with that jerk. I've always really liked her. Not only is she super hot, but I really thought she was smart and talented. But now she's hanging out with those space-alien-worshipping weirdos. WTF? Seriously, Scientology is a sick sick cult. Anybody who ever thinks about this as a real religion or science, please look past the B.S. celebrity PR scam and see how many lives have been ruined.

"He no play-a da game, he no make-a da rules!" - Earl Butz (on the Pope's stance on birth control)

Kansas state motto: "We aint come from no monkeys"

"You wouldn't know a classy broad if she took a dump on your head." - Socrates

I think it's a total fraud that they call it Miss UNIVERSE and they don't even invite any contestants from other planets in this solar system, let alone distant galaxies. How unbelievably arrogant!

Thank you. Thank you for reassuring me that there is sanity in this world. The list is a joke, but I got some special satisfaction seeing Lou Reed 18 spots ahead of Eddie Van Halen.

I'll get that no-Travis-Henry-deal-making albino bastard! (shakes fist)

The future of America: Millions of blind obese illiterate guys wandering around strip malls with great big boners wondering why some guy in India took their job from them.