Cugalabanza

I would like to take a moment to hijack the phrase "Tokyo Drift." From now on, this phrase will be taken to mean the gradual degradation of popular culture towards total meaninglessness. Thank you.

kittens masturbating god

I'll do my part: boozin', sending the good vibes through the tv set.

I don't even know which side to take in this ("school boards with their stupid rules" or "teenage girls these days"). Reading this, I just couldn't help picturing those 25 poor guys and the frightening glimpse they got that night of what a horrific screaming emotional wreck of a monster a woman can be when she's denied a piece of her ridiculous fairy tale. I mean, picture it. Do you think any of those girls, were like "aw that's ok, we can still have a good time tonight"?

Sept. 9 DENVER BRONCOS - W Sept. 16 @ Pittsburgh Steelers - W Sept. 23 @ New England Patriots - W Sept. 30 NEW YORK JETS - L Oct. 8 DALLAS COWBOYS - W Oct. 21 BALTIMORE RAVENS - W Oct. 28 @ New York Jets - W Nov. 4 CINCINNATI BENGALS - W Nov. 11 @ Miami Dolphins - W Nov. 18 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS - W Nov. 25 @ Jacksonville Jaguars - L Dec. 2 @ Washington Redskins - W Dec. 9 MIAMI DOLPHINS - W Dec. 16 @ Cleveland Browns - W Dec. 23 NEW YORK GIANTS - L Dec. 30 @ Philadelphia Eagles - W Yes! Also, I will be forced to turn my back on you.

...uhhh, sorry, what was the question?

dead at 84 I can't think of a writer who meant more to me. He was a true original. From Cat's Cradle: Tiger got to hunt Bird got to fly Man got to ask himself, "why why why?" Tiger got to rest Bird got to land Man got to tell himself, "I understand"

Betty's pretty hot, but I wouldn't go this far

I'm offended by your punctuation.

I hope Kermit is still there at #12. I don't know if you saw the footage from the combine, but Kermit was the only frog who could play banjo while riding a bicycle. That's a once in a lifetime athlete! I really like these picks, but you're out of your mind if you think Animal lasts until day 2. That's a Muppet who comes in and immediately makes any NFL defense 100 times better, from day 1. And special teams?...Forget about it.

I understand the Texans fans couldn't wait to get rid of him, but in my opinion Carr deserves some sort of medal of honor for all the crap he has had to put up with down there. I hope he can bounce back from the shell shock and have some good years.

Comedy is not pretty

I like anybody who's willing to be creative around here. It's a long off-season and the super-detailed speculation about the upcoming season wears me out. Also, I can't be expected to give full attention to this horrific, pointless, dehumanizing job of mine. I vote we let crayonz boy live.

Good post. It's a luxury the Bills cannot afford. The idea of spreading the ball around to Evans, Reed, Price, Parrish is plausible to me. I think Marv is thinking about pass-catching for whatever RB also. As for TE, we can hope. We get way better bang for draft buck at other positions, I think.

When I was trying to sell my car, I hung up a notice about it at the laundromat. Belichek came by and, instead of just taking one of the little tabs at the bottom with the info on it, took the whole sheet so no one else could call me about it. Then Belicheck left a message on my machine but mumbled when he said his own phone number, so I couldn't call him back. Also, while Belichek was at the laundromat, he opened and closed all the dryer doors without re-pressing the start button, so everybody's clothes were still wet when they came back to get them.

Belicheck was driving down a main street that I was trying to turn right onto. He turned right into the plaza I was pulling out of, but he did not use his turn signal. This caused me to hesitate in turning right because I could not assume that he was going to turn before passing in front of me. This caused me to be late to the movie I was going to and I missed the opening credits.

Uhm, we thought you meant 2pm

If you're changing your name, may I suggest "ifartrainbows?"

I always laugh when I hear Axl Rose sing, "it's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain." Not only because it's ridiculous (what moron goes outside in the rain with a candle?) but because I like to switch the word "candle" with "sandwich" in my mind. Seems more appropriate to me. I hate Axl Rose!

Ever heard the Kiss song, "Room Service?" It has some of the worst lyrics of all time. The chorus goes... Room service, baby I could use a meal Room service, you do what you feel

Here's my favorite office prank. This works for someone who uses Word or Microsoft Outlook for email. While they are away from their desk, you go into their AutoCorrect function and change a bunch of words. Here are some of my favorites… - Change the person's name (as well as the words "I" and "me") to something stupid. Example: I did it to a guy I work with named Pete. I changed it to "The P-Man!" That way, throughout everything letter or email he types, it looks like he's constantly referring to himself in the third person as The P-Man! - "if" --> "if you think" (makes everything seem strangely confrontational) - "thanks" --> "dyno-mite!" - "thank you" --> "love ya baby" - "please" --> "just for kicks" - "the" --> "the everlovin'" - "this" --> "this'm here" - "price" --> "cash money amount" In many cases, the person will not even realize until after they have sent it and they look like a lunatic.

I could carve a better man out of a banana.

That's very true. You know what's fun to do also? After you stab the guy, you take the very same pen and write a little note while the he's bleeding to death. So he's there bleeding all over the place and he can't help wondering... what's he writing? Then you take the paper and show it to him and it says, "you're dead." Good times.

I probably would, except that I always manage to snap off that tab thing within the first 10 seconds of using a new pen.

I personally think that bic makes a very nice pen. I don't know how papermate has stuck around so long because their product is garbage. The things never write when you pick them up--you're constantly making squiggles just to get started. Then it's globby and uneven anyway. And I like the cap. I don't know why, but click pens don't do it for me.