Cugalabanza

Belicheck was driving down a main street that I was trying to turn right onto. He turned right into the plaza I was pulling out of, but he did not use his turn signal. This caused me to hesitate in turning right because I could not assume that he was going to turn before passing in front of me. This caused me to be late to the movie I was going to and I missed the opening credits.

Uhm, we thought you meant 2pm

If you're changing your name, may I suggest "ifartrainbows?"

I always laugh when I hear Axl Rose sing, "it's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain." Not only because it's ridiculous (what moron goes outside in the rain with a candle?) but because I like to switch the word "candle" with "sandwich" in my mind. Seems more appropriate to me. I hate Axl Rose!

Ever heard the Kiss song, "Room Service?" It has some of the worst lyrics of all time. The chorus goes... Room service, baby I could use a meal Room service, you do what you feel

Here's my favorite office prank. This works for someone who uses Word or Microsoft Outlook for email. While they are away from their desk, you go into their AutoCorrect function and change a bunch of words. Here are some of my favorites… - Change the person's name (as well as the words "I" and "me") to something stupid. Example: I did it to a guy I work with named Pete. I changed it to "The P-Man!" That way, throughout everything letter or email he types, it looks like he's constantly referring to himself in the third person as The P-Man! - "if" --> "if you think" (makes everything seem strangely confrontational) - "thanks" --> "dyno-mite!" - "thank you" --> "love ya baby" - "please" --> "just for kicks" - "the" --> "the everlovin'" - "this" --> "this'm here" - "price" --> "cash money amount" In many cases, the person will not even realize until after they have sent it and they look like a lunatic.

I could carve a better man out of a banana.

That's very true. You know what's fun to do also? After you stab the guy, you take the very same pen and write a little note while the he's bleeding to death. So he's there bleeding all over the place and he can't help wondering... what's he writing? Then you take the paper and show it to him and it says, "you're dead." Good times.

I probably would, except that I always manage to snap off that tab thing within the first 10 seconds of using a new pen.

I personally think that bic makes a very nice pen. I don't know how papermate has stuck around so long because their product is garbage. The things never write when you pick them up--you're constantly making squiggles just to get started. Then it's globby and uneven anyway. And I like the cap. I don't know why, but click pens don't do it for me.

Which cheapo pen writes better? I have a very stong opinion about this already, but I'm curious what other people think. Now, I know this is a very sensitive topic, so I ask that we please refrain from personal attacks.

Dammit, Mouseketeer Boy, stay away!

[bump] Whew! That's better. (I had to do that because this thread was touching the Justin Timberlake thread.)

Don't forget the New York Dolls, Stooges, Richard Hell and the Voidoids (just listen to the Blank Generation album and tell me it's not great).

I just read through this thread. I'm pretty sure I recall seeing a mention of Foghat. Come on…that is just not right, my friends. I was very happy to see RuntheDamnBall's mention of Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band. You cannot dismiss the genius of Zoot Horn Rolo and The Mascara Snake. Regarding the two year old. Sure, he could play some punk, but no way in hell is he gonna be able to handle all those drugs. And that's where your theory breaks down. Yes, The Ramones kick ass!

According to this, the buttfloss usage dates to 1990... etymology of "thong" I think we all have fond memories of that magical summer.

Aside from the question of free expression, one thing is encouraging to me: In general, tolerance of gay people has come a long way. When I was in high school 20 years ago (holy sh--, what have I done with my life?!), no way was any kid gonna be openly gay. And everyone's opinion was pretty much the same on the subject, that homosexuality was to be feared and mocked and that's how we liked it. In this respect, I think young people now are way more enlightened then I was when I was in school.

Look around you. Morons have always enjoyed tremendous success. It's practically the only requirement. I could write a book about it called "The One Step Method To Success." Step one: Be a total ingoramus! Except it wouldn't really be a book because it's only about 12 words total. It would be just one page, brightly colored and laminated, maybe to hang from a rearview mirror. Or maybe a refrigerator magnet.

No!

Actually it's an interesting subculture and it goes quite deep. Last night I watched a documentary on Lifetime about a group of same-sex dead animal fornicators who, sadly, have become unsatisfied with conventional homo-necro-bestiality and now need to videotape themselves feltching dead kangaroos dressed up as naughty librarians to get their fix.

I wonder if there are those of the hetero-necro-bestiality persuasion who frown on that. It certainly is a rich tapestry.

I believe sexual orientation is a federally protected category. So, no, you can't wear your anti-gay t-shirt to school.

There are way too many bigots running around. They should take these two self-righteous brats and stick 'em in a cage with that guy from the other thread, the horse fugger.

Hey Mike32282, how'd you come up with such an original screen name?. I hope you have a great birthday, but for God's sake, be careful. With a powerful imagination like yours, things could get out of hand fast. [Just kidding. Sorry, I’m still going with the dumb Birthday Roast theme. Actually, I really enjoy your posts. Happy Birthday!]

Wow! I didn't think it was possible to make necro-bestiality seem even more disgusting than it already is. But you have done it. Bravo!