Cugalabanza

I can't afford diamonds, but a pearl necklace I could do.

I know--look at me. I lost my precious sixth blue square! And I need to do something to fix up my avatar--it looks a little ragged. Damn you, Rubeo!

Well done!

I liked Shawn of the Dead very much, but Hot Fuzz didn't do it for me.

WARNING: Gratuitous and explicit cuteness Several years ago this woman found a sick, malnourished lion cub in the jungle. She took the cub home and fed him and brought him up until he was too big to keep anymore. Then she made arrangements with a zoo in Colombia to take the lion. Here's a video of what happened when she went to visit him in the zoo for the first time... video

day 2

I just spoke with a lawyer friend of mine who has experience in this area. Apparently there is signifcant Man Law® precedent which indicates that a man may consume fruity drinks if at least one of the following conditions is met: - You're outside and it's sunny - There is no other liquor available and your team's playoff game is on tv - You recently became wealthy and quit your job - It is part of a clandestine plot to have sex with one or more of the women at your table

Can any of our experts here advise if this is in violation of any existing Man Laws® ? It's fruity, yes, but it's also loaded with booze. Maybe there is some kind of warm weather exemption for this?

...Home of the ADAA, the American Douchebag Association of America

If you think about it, the fact that she leaked this to the press proves that she cares less about the welfare of her daughter than about scoring a big public humiliation against her ex-husband. This poor kid has two raving egomaniacs for parents and they are not above using their kid as a weapon against each other. I'd say this one is headed to douchebag overtime.

I have to call shenanigans on this. He actually does have an impressive body of work. I would give him high grades for all of the following: Glengarry Glen Ross Outside Providence State and Main The Cooler Many people would mention the Hunt For Red October type stuff (although I haven't seen any of it) Plus, he has been very funny on tv., notably SNL and The Simpsons Of course, none of this could excuse him from verbally abusing an 11 year old girl. Obviously, he has some issues with being a hot-head abusive prick and I can't defend him for that. He is a good actor though.

the gringo abides

I would like to take a moment to hijack the phrase "Tokyo Drift." From now on, this phrase will be taken to mean the gradual degradation of popular culture towards total meaninglessness. Thank you.

kittens masturbating god

I'll do my part: boozin', sending the good vibes through the tv set.

I don't even know which side to take in this ("school boards with their stupid rules" or "teenage girls these days"). Reading this, I just couldn't help picturing those 25 poor guys and the frightening glimpse they got that night of what a horrific screaming emotional wreck of a monster a woman can be when she's denied a piece of her ridiculous fairy tale. I mean, picture it. Do you think any of those girls, were like "aw that's ok, we can still have a good time tonight"?

Sept. 9 DENVER BRONCOS - W Sept. 16 @ Pittsburgh Steelers - W Sept. 23 @ New England Patriots - W Sept. 30 NEW YORK JETS - L Oct. 8 DALLAS COWBOYS - W Oct. 21 BALTIMORE RAVENS - W Oct. 28 @ New York Jets - W Nov. 4 CINCINNATI BENGALS - W Nov. 11 @ Miami Dolphins - W Nov. 18 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS - W Nov. 25 @ Jacksonville Jaguars - L Dec. 2 @ Washington Redskins - W Dec. 9 MIAMI DOLPHINS - W Dec. 16 @ Cleveland Browns - W Dec. 23 NEW YORK GIANTS - L Dec. 30 @ Philadelphia Eagles - W Yes! Also, I will be forced to turn my back on you.

...uhhh, sorry, what was the question?

dead at 84 I can't think of a writer who meant more to me. He was a true original. From Cat's Cradle: Tiger got to hunt Bird got to fly Man got to ask himself, "why why why?" Tiger got to rest Bird got to land Man got to tell himself, "I understand"

Betty's pretty hot, but I wouldn't go this far

I'm offended by your punctuation.

I hope Kermit is still there at #12. I don't know if you saw the footage from the combine, but Kermit was the only frog who could play banjo while riding a bicycle. That's a once in a lifetime athlete! I really like these picks, but you're out of your mind if you think Animal lasts until day 2. That's a Muppet who comes in and immediately makes any NFL defense 100 times better, from day 1. And special teams?...Forget about it.

I understand the Texans fans couldn't wait to get rid of him, but in my opinion Carr deserves some sort of medal of honor for all the crap he has had to put up with down there. I hope he can bounce back from the shell shock and have some good years.

Comedy is not pretty

I like anybody who's willing to be creative around here. It's a long off-season and the super-detailed speculation about the upcoming season wears me out. Also, I can't be expected to give full attention to this horrific, pointless, dehumanizing job of mine. I vote we let crayonz boy live.