Cugalabanza

Tiger Woods farts on this thread. This thread gets punched in the face with its penis glued to its stomach. Lana puts on a skimpy bikini for this thread, but so that no one can see. This thread annoyingly eats corn in a haphazard manner, leaving stray kernels behind. Lana also farts on this thread.

1st runner up and alternate (in case something should happen to damj).

UConn James is 29 today and BillsFanNC is 38. Happy Muthergrabbin' Birthday to you fine good gentlemen!

Today is Northern Territory Picnic Day in Australia. I don't really know much about it, but I hope you have a happy one. I'm gonna celebrate by taking it easy at work today. I mean really really half-assing it. Cheers, mates!

End-to-end (aka typewriter style) all the way!

Or maybe you should hide it in the dank fruit cellar. Just for a few days, so they don't find it.

Yup. Good point.

Excellent!

I think Glenn Close was good casting. No, she is not as attractive as any of the others mentioned, but that's not essential for the story. The affair that sparked all the conflict in the movie does not require that the other woman be irresistably gorgeous. It's about the Michael Douglas character and his struggles. In the Other Woman phenomenon, "Other" is the operative word. It doesn't matter that his wife is more beautiful. I think most married men can relate to this. Anyway, Glenn Close is a very good actor and she was right for the role in my opinion.

I follow no one.

War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength.

Man, it's all so complicated and discouraging. I don't have kids, but if I ever do, I'm definitely selling them into sex slavery. At least that way I can be sure they are learning a trade.

I support the lawsuit. Horizon Group Management has feelings too you know.

God I !@#$ing hate twitter. Reads like poorly translated haiku from developmentally disabled six year olds.

Oh my.

Two words

I don't know. He seems pretty cool. I think I'm gonna tell him about the signature.

[This is an automated response] Are you !@#$ing kidding me?

Hey Joey Spagnino, feed some of that silica to the gerbil. He won't bother you no more.

Domino's Pizza?

I don't know how that's relevant, but his creamery franchise makes very good ice cream.

If you're the KEY, then who's the LO-- oh sh--!

I never made it past little kid rec league, but I scored one very memorable goal. It was an accident, but it made me look like a genius. I got possession of the ball about 15 yards in front of the opponent's goal. My back was to the goal, so I laid it back to a teammate who was sprinting towards me. I saw him really get ready to crank it, so I began to lean back to get out of the way. Too late… the line-drive power shot ricocheted off my head and perfectly into the opposite top corner of the goal. I didn't plan to take credit for it, but my teammates all started congratulating me on the greatest goal they had ever seen and I didn't want to let them down by telling them the truth that I was just trying to avoid getting hit..

My dog's name happens to be Beerball. Actually that's just a part of her name. We call her Billie, but her full legal name is Billie Bluebeerballbarbaloney. That is a fact.

I know, right? I was gonna let that one go, but really that's the saddest soccer criticism I've heard yet. Caste system?