Cugalabanza

Keep up the good work! I'm very lucky--I've never had to deal with anything like this first hand, although I've known several people who have dealt with different types of addictions. I've seen enough to know that it is no joke. I hope you're feeling better very soon. As terrible as it feels, it is absolutely the right thing.

Whoops

Booooooooo

Tiger Woods is real... –d’oh!

Translation: It's hard to win in the NFL.

Sounds like it’s time for a montage... Cue the music: ‘CUZ YOU’RE THE BEST!... A-ROUND! NOTHIN’S GONNA EVER KEEP YA DOWN... [crunchy guitar solo...]

Guide To The Causes of House-Haunting, By Era... SEVENTIES AND EARLIER: Bad news: Terrible violent acts took place in your home long ago. EIGHTIES: Bad news: Your home was built on an ancient sacred Indian burial ground. Why do you think you got such a sweet deal on the place, you idiot? NINETIES TO NOW: Bad news: Oops, turns out you and your family are the ghosts. You all died tragically a while back and you just don’t know it yet.

Ahhh, a political agenda. How refreshing.

You stink! You and your whole lousy operation stink!

Door locked? No problem—just give it a kick. Airplane interiors are spacious and comfortable. If you get stabbed or impaled with something, make sure to pull it out right away. That’s how you heal the wound. Plus, it will keep hurting if you don’t. If you are driving and collide with a parked car, you don’t just smash into it... one side of your car mysteriously elevates so that you flip over sideways. Caring about proper police procedure is for squares! Every human being has a spot on the back of his/her head which, when tapped, will immediately result in 5 minutes of deep sleep. Attention sexy teenage camp counselors: keep your shirt on if you want to live. John Cusack can make it rain simply by walking outside and having a sad thought. If you feel outmatched by sinister supernatural forces, just check out your local library’s occult section and get some handy spells of your own, dummy. Nihilists are dangerous and unpredictable because they care about nothing. However, in the end, it is possible to overcome them, because they care about nothing.

#4,500 for the win!

I have a Kindle 2 and I love it. I just wish more titles were available. It's coming along, but much too slowly. But that's the case for all the e-readers, not just Kindle.

I cannot lie. As much as she annoys me, I have to say yes I would. But it would most definitely be a hate ****

Most people don’t know that Angelina Jolie actually got her start as this lovable kids' show character.

I hate the BCS Championship Game.

It only ends once. Everything else is progress.

You did! But then I went back in time and changed the course of history by detonating an atomic bomb at the site of a tremendous magnetic anomaly. As a result, you never became a member of this website. You think you are here right now reading this, but you’re somewhere else and it’s 2007. Somehow, it seems that there is still something special about your destiny and you might eventually be picked to be the new SDS, but you have never posted in this thread.

Oh, yes! Shiv the mofo!

Would Mr. Greenjeans have to change his name if he wore blue jeans? Would he smell as sweet?

No, because he needs square pants due to his unusual body type. If he had non-square pants, then he would be uncomfortable all the time and that would distract from the storylines, taking away much of the entertainment value.

I just realized that my last post could be considered incredibly misogynistic. But then I realized: girls never read crayonz threads. So, we’re all good.

Yup, this deserves to become a popular expression. Sort of the exact opposite of “gilding the rose.” You could say “that’s like urinating on a woman from Jersey” to mean that it is impossible for your actions to bestow any more degradation than is already inherent in a given situation. In fact, it becomes ironic because urinating on a woman from Jersey might actually wash off a little bit of her disgusting whore make-up, thereby actually improving her situation slightly overall.

She has an unfair advantage: her head is obviously filled with rocks.