Cugalabanza

Reservations for dinner with the gf at one of our favorite places. Then home, a couple drinky-poos, spin some records, maybe finish Deadwood season one on dvd... If she plays her cards right, maybe she'll get some of this [points towards pants]

After a while, you get pretty good at the quick scoopy motion that sort of goes around the poop and gets a lot of grass around it. But you better believe I make sure that bag has no holes in it first.

Sometimes when I'm outside walking my dog and I'm bending over to pick up poop off the ground with a inside-out plastic grocery bag on my hand, I think: what interesting little tidbit can I write in the last post thread? I haven't thought of anything yet, but one of these days it might happen.

There's one perk with the Kindle that has kind of spoiled me. I love how you can get an instant dictionary definition of any word as you're reading. Sometimes when I'm reading an actual physical book or magazine I almost forget that I can't just scroll to a word on the page and be told what it means.

I've had my Kindle for a year. The experience of reading a real book vs. on the device has become pretty much indistinguishable. The Kindle has the advantage of being a little easier to handle. For example, if I'm sitting there with a bagel sandwich and a coffee, I don't need to keep a finger on the page to keep it from flipping back. I can just rest it on the table and have my hands free while I keep reading.

I hereby declare myself to be the Champion of 2010.

[sneaks up from behind...] KABLAMM!!! I win.

And I thought the donkey punch was too much.

From what I've heard from those who've seen the photo, it's more like "Pick four and a half."

Such a wonderful precious child. We're raising him to do whatever he wants, to foster his natural sense of whimsy. He likes to stare at the sun and cross the street without looking. We bought him a brand new iPhone you know. Ah yes, he's our sweet little miracle.

Awww, let the boy play his game a little longer. He's such a good boy. Like an angel, this one.

Such a sweet boy.

What a precious boy. What a sweet sweet child. All he wanted to do play his little game on his electronic toy. And the world won't let him. Shame! Shame on you, mean old world. You've bruised not only an arm, but the special wonderful magic of a precious boy's imagination.

I've even seen a chicken strip!

For what it's worth, here are Captain Beefheart's 10 Commandments of Guitar Playing: 1. Listen to the birds. That's where all the music comes from. Birds know everything about how it should sound and where that sound should come from. And watch hummingbirds. They fly really fast, but a lot of times they aren't going anywhere. 2. Your guitar is not really a guitar Your guitar is a divining rod. Use it to find spirits in the other world and bring them over. A guitar is also a fishing rod. If you're good, you'll land a big one. 3. Practice in front of a bush Wait until the moon is out, then go outside, eat a multi-grained bread and play your guitar to a bush. If the bush dosen't shake, eat another piece of bread. 4. Walk with the devil Old Delta blues players referred to guitar amplifiers as the "devil box." And they were right. You have to be an equal opportunity employer in terms of who you're bringing over from the other side. Electricity attracts devils and demons. Other instruments attract other spirits. An acoustic guitar attracts Casper. A mandolin attracts Wendy. But an electric guitar attracts Beelzebub. 5. If you're guilty of thinking, you're out If your brain is part of the process, you're missing it. You should play like a drowning man, struggling to reach shore. If you can trap that feeling, then you have something that is fur bearing. 6. Never point your guitar at anyone Your instrument has more clout than lightning. Just hit a big chord then run outside to hear it. But make sure you are not standing in an open field. 7. Always carry a church key That's your key-man clause. Like One String Sam. He's one. He was a Detroit street musician who played in the fifties on a homemade instrument. His song "I Need a Hundred Dollars" is warm pie. Another key to the church is Hubert Sumlin, Howlin' Wolf's guitar player. He just stands there like the Statue of Liberty-making you want to look up her dress the whole time to see how he's doing it. 8. Don't wipe the sweat off your instrument You need that stink on there. Then you have to get that stink onto your music. 9. Keep your guitar in a dark place When you're not playing your guitar, cover it and keep it in a dark place. If you don't play your guitar for more than a day, be sure you put a saucer of water in with it. 10. You gotta have a hood for your engine Keep that hat on. A hat is a pressure cooker. If you have a roof on your house, the hot air can't escape. Even a lima bean has to have a piece of wet paper around it to make it grow.

Would it be in poor taste to play "Love Gun" by Kiss at the funeral?

It makes me want to start a band and call it SALZREP just so I can use this picture as the album cover.

Another come from behind victory for gringo starr!

I have to find out whose car that is. I just have to know what this guy looks like.

If you're interested in becoming a lifetime poor to borderline mediocre guitar player, I can give you some tips. Really, just get good at keeping the thing in tune (if you don't have one already, pick up a chromatic tuner for about $15 to $20). Then, just have fun and explore some of the resources already mentioned, according to your own tastes. Your wife must be pretty cool.

So I come in to the parking garage this morning and I notice this guy a couple spots over from me...

fixed