Cugalabanza

I used to have a girlfriend whose borehole I always hoped would freeze shut. I was never that lucky. I should have sent her to Antarctica.

Yup, so they would of course ask Bill to move over one so they could sit together. Aisle seat...jackpot! Plus, the lesbian now sitting in the middle seat will probably keep leaning over the other way, so he'll have both armrests!

What the hell kind of Tom & Jerry episode shenanigans are going on over at Mead's house?

This is an outrage. The Cockfighting Safety Commissioner better do something about this.

I've tried a bunch of different hot sauces and Tabasco is still my favorite.

FIVE OH OH OH!

I'm guessing it tends to play out the same way almost every time: The kid starts getting heat for bad behavior, whether it's staying out late, partying, bad grades, etc... So the kid weighs his situation and decides to blab and play the Victim card. The kid is absolved of everything and the parents are all too happy to see it that way too since it confirms the preciousness of their precious one.

Dear networks, Please stop pushing this stupid Mic'd Up gimmick on us. I appreciate that you want to take us inside the action, but these segments are always boring. Please learn to edit them for when somebody actually says something interesting or just let the thing die. Thank you, gringo football fan p.s. Other than that, SB XLV was pretty awesome.

Ok, seriously now...all jokes aside for a second...what the !@#$ is going on with all these crazy broads?! It's like every single day there's a new story. WTF?

Nice article. This part made me

When I get up sometimes my butt sounds like Miles Davis. Not so much the early Birth of the Cool be-bop type stuff. More like the soulful Kind of Blue era stuff. It's really quite lovely.

That's just excessive. Even the original fine $340) is kind of ridiculous. I'm for maintaining order in the classroom and having consequences for offenders, but that's just too much. All she said was "stevestojan." If you have to hand out fines, it should start at say $50.

Call Mr. Plow, That's my name. That name again Is Mr. Plow.

Congratulations! My first one is on his/her way, expected in July. Cheers to you & your happy family.

Ok, it's official. I am now completely afraid of everything.

Hey, Bullpen. I hope you had a great Birthday! You're one of the good ones. Cheers!

56 degrees and cloudy in Atlanta. We've had only one snowfall this year. 5 inches fell and it shut the city down for a week.

That works for me. I can't wait to celeb-- Oh, I get it.

Just a heads-up: I'm getting pretty close to 5k posts. I want to make sure you guys have enough time to prepare the strippers, fireworks, etc...

Sounds like the little guy got Posluszny-ed. I'm glad to hear he's not in pain. I hope he gets better very soon.

Hi, Tom.

Yup. I just checked. Jack has won 601 times. This makes it 607 for me.

Next: Michelle Ryan