The word does cause a lot of pain. I’ve witnessed it first hand. I worked for a while at a group home for adults with developmental disabilities. Several times, I’ve been with a group in a public place and had someone toss that word out and I’ve afterwards tried to comfort a person who was brought to tears by it. I’ve also seen it when a group of people are just hanging out at home, watching a movie and a character suddenly busts out with that word. Believe me, it has a powerful effect! They know what it means and they feel it in a big way. It’s hurtful. It carries as much menace as any word in our language.
I’ve also witnessed how the word actually gains power by its suppression (Lenny Bruce was right about that). In the group home environment, that one word is so forbidden, it takes on a power that is way out of proportion. I understand how some people see it as an example of PC-ness run amok.
In the end though, for me, the hurtfullness trumps everything else.
In the PG world of popular movies, tv shows, sports, etc... I think the word should be eliminated as much as possible. I’m not advocating censorship, just good taste, consideration and common sense. Lebron’s initial comment I see as a slip--not really a huge deal. But then his non-apology shows his true colors (dick).