TheCockSportif

"He left. He did nothing. He returned." -- Larry David

Classic show, and likely an arguable point, but it changed humor on television: puffy shirts, self pleasure, fwb, bad boys, taking a carriage ride through NYC, psychosis, neurosis, race relations, briss, "bubble boy", heck, so many great, great episodes. I am not sure that if someone came up with a Seinfeld on broadcast tv in 2023 -- that they'd be able to pull it off. Seinfeld came up with the anti-hero genre, "Friends" riffed on it (can you think of another less likable set of people?), and the Sopranos and Breaking Bad perfected the genre.

What some of these mamma jammas need to do is to "bulk up". I recommend several hard-boiled eggs before each practice, scrimmage, or game, should that movie be our guide.

You remember that show House ( @HOUSE remembers) and how they would always be all like, "it's lupus" before they would decidedly say that it wasn't lupus -- til the end of the series when it was finally lupus and the patient died? People on my team kept asking "if I had a minute". Usually this meant quitting, so I was like, "stop that *****, and if you're gonna quit, then tell me that it's lupus then put some time on my calendar to discuss." People keep asking for a minute whilst telling me that it's not lupus. Success.

The original "Halloween" or "Friday the 13th" were super, super scary. Now I just kinda cringe at reality tv, you know, me not watching tv that much anymore.

His music was dour. I could not enjoy it more!

With fiber, and not going overboard with advanced programming options on YouTube TV, it's pretty ***** great -- and a heckuva lot cheaper than the cable or DTV route. Having written that, signed up for DTV probably a decade ago, and it took 8 techs to finally tell us that the tree line would mean zero signal. Seriously?! You couldn't put it on the roof?

Devo wrote a song about this, I'm pretty sure.

What if Russ Meyer made Star Wars? Leia would've destroyed the death star through a laser that was fired from her nipples!

Bingo!

Not gonna lie. Seeing Boston bounced early due to a collapsed Ullmark (prior to game 7) was delicious -- like Jameis W "finger lickin'" delicious.

While I wouldn't be interested in tasting it, seems like a twig 'n' berries cake.

Soup is not a meal, Jerry. HAHA

For me? Not so much. For my dad? He's the master. My mom's in rough shape right now, so my sister and I have been pitching in and staying with my dad in WNY to help out. Neither of us has lived in that house for probably 30 years (if not more), so finding my dad's life hacks brings incredible joy to an otherwise moribund situation. Without further ado: Trash can hack. Foot pedal no longer works? No problem. Loop a piece of duck tape to the lid and pull it the duck tape loop when you need to open the can. It's been like this for 10 years. Microwave hack. Microwave no longer turns off when timer reaches zero. No problem. Put an interrupting switch between the plug and the outlet, and turn it off when the timer expires. Oddly (a) this doesn't turn off the clock when you hit the switch though it stops the microwave and (b) if you open the microwave door while it's still running, the microwave will continue running. Mice / vermin hack. Mice have been coming up from the basement into the house. Do you call an exterminator? No, you attach wood blocks and rubber to the bottom of the basement door so that the mice can't squeak through (pun intended, I guess). Buick Ultra paint hack. Rust on the 2001 Buick Ultra? No problem. Duck tape to the rescue. Desk hack. Don't want to buy a new computer desk? No problem, attach an old interior door to the top of a dresser. Garbage disposal hack. Can't lift the garbage disposal to install a new one? No problem, buy a bottle jack from Autozone, crank the garbage disposal up to the mount, get things attached, return bottle jack to Autozone. And that's just the tip of the iceberg!

You name it, and we've seen it. The Bills were going to pick Manuel, so that doesn't surprise me. He sucked, but it was what it was. In no specific order: Spiller Whitner Watkins Lawson Losman (not so surprised about a QB being picked, but Losman? Oy vey.) Maybin. Holy crappy pants. He was SO BAD. McGahee McCargo Hardy

Iron Maiden, as silly / great as they are, aren't rock 'n' roll?

The second to last time that I partook in four two zero, I watched "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle". It seemed like it was a 9 or 10-hour movie, but with Rebecca De Mornay in her prime, it was a nice night. Last time, probably 15 years ago, I lost my ***** and laughed for about an hour over... these salt and pepper shakers that looked like smurfs. Having written that, nobody (I hope?) would listen to "Caress of Steel" while high. I can barely wait for it to end as it is, but 9 to 10 hours of it would be as un-Rebecca De Mornay as it could possibly get.

The roster is about 50% meh, but aren't they all? It's coaching.

Whatever works, so long as my favorite player, JA17, spends the time throwing underneath or is able to execute a screen.

We shall see. Payton went to the Saints and turned that moribund franchise around. Yeah, he's been out of the game for a bit, but we'll see. I'm kinda thinking that he's going to be the ghost of Mike Ditka, but maybe there's a precious Dick Vermeil season or two in him.

This makes sense, but it's a coaching issue, in as much as McD is better than the clown car of coaches who preceded him. You could Tecmo Bowl this team, as comprised, and they would still lose the big games.

Russ's problems are fixable so long as he is actually interested in playing actual football again, not the marketing campaign that talks about him playing football, but like actual grinding, and no offense to any fan of Tinder or Grindr on this board.

Nice WKRP reference, FTW.

Correct, but they still need a QB. Tua + O scheme + great D == success most likely. Tua is the wildcard here.

I can see the marketing slogan of Van Ness Monster already. I'm in the wrong line of business.