Johnny Coli

Well, well, well. Corporate Rock and Roll has spoken, and spoken loudly. Does anybody really believe that Covais got the least amount of votes? You’re telling me both Bucky and Lisa Funicello have more fans than Co-vicious? Is Katherine Harris moonlighting for FOX during her improbable Senate bid? We shouldn’t be surprised by this turn of events. The Corporate Weasels could never let someone as dangerous and unpredictable (a ticking bomb, if you will) like Covais get anywhere near the finals. We should have seen this coming Tuesday night when Cowell refrained from taking a shot at our Anti-Hero. His smirk and patronizing comments should have set off the blue K-Mart strobes in our heads. But, we got complacent. We got lax. And in the end, we got hosed. I don’t know about you, but I hoisted a beer high over my head last night, and toasted our improbable revolutionary. His insurrection may have ended on the shores of The Bay of Pigs (the Bay of Melissa’s?), but make no mistake, Corporate Rock was served notice. Corporate Rock was scared silly. But Corporate Rock won this round. As for the rest of the show…. Barry Manilow can still bring it. Wow. His freakish visage is distorted by years of plastic surgery, both successful in spots and totally botched in others, but the “man” has still got a set of pipes. In a frighteningly surreal moment, FOX brought back Victor/Victoria and actually let him up on stage, to the obvious horror of Barry. There used to be a cab driver here in Boston (Loserville) many years ago, who sold “stuff” out of his taxi, but that has nothing to do with this narrative. He was a huge Manilow fan, and regaled us once with a story from the late 70s (or it could have been the early 80s, I can’t remember the specifics…who the hell are you to judge me?), when Barry came to town. This was around the time Barry was doing commercials for McDonalds. The cab driver hated Barry, and went to the show to throw a Big Mac up on the stage. He said that when he tossed it, Barry watched it sail through the air and bounce off his piano, never blinking an eye, and never interrupting his song. The bouncers pounced on the cab driver, dragged him outside, and it was while they were beating the crap out of him in the alley behind the Orpheum that he had an epiphany, and realized Barry was the greatest showman to ever grace a stage. And he proved it last night when Victor/Victoria accosted him on live TV, in front of millions of people. No doubt a restraining order is in the works today, but last night Barry acted like the consummate showman he is, and didn’t allow it to besmirch an otherwise inspirational television moment. Anyway, ten folks left. Lastly…Hey, Pickler. You’re not fooling anyone any more. Even a total idiot would know what “ballsy” means. You’ve taken the act too far, and it’s guaranteed to backfire. We know a legitimate moron when we listen to Bucky. No doubt years of painting cars without a mask on have left little more than his brainstem functioning, but at least he’s the real deal.

Wow, pretty dull show. Not much to work with, but it’s a two-hour show on FOX, so there’s always something to take a shot at. First up, a quick note to FOX. The first hour of this show is in prime time, with small, easily frightened children and large, easily sickened adults watching. I question your judgment in showing Mandisa’s bloated, bruised, tree-trunk ankles at 8:15PM. Once is a mistake (last week), but twice is a pattern, and I would expect a warning, if not an outright fine from the FCC. Consider yourselves on notice. On to “ManDiva.” In these heavy, post 9-11 times, I think we tend to throw the term “diva” around too much. You see, the road to becoming a “diva” has several significant stops along the way, stops that are critical in order to be given the tin-foil crown. First, you have to have a couple hit songs. Then you have to re-invent yourself as a skank, abuse controlled substances, delve into hip-hop, and finally become a fat cartoon beloved by hairdressers all across the world. For some crazy reason, Mandisa has been allowed to skip right over all the tabloid stuff and has been anointed “Man-Diva” by FOX. Well, I’m not buying it, and neither is the guy that does my wife’s hair. “Do you think I look fat in these pants, Johnny?” And there you have it. Bucky, Bucky, Bucky. You are totally screwed this week, buddy. The band totally abandoned you (anyone else notice their half-assed effort?). Manilow was too horrified to arrange your song. Simon all but begged America not to vote for you. Paula’s drugs hadn’t kicked in yet, so you didn’t even get the manic rambling that usually fights it’s way out of her botox-addled mouth. And yet, every minute you’re not back painting cars is probably a victory for you. Enjoy the ride and enjoy your last afternoon in the cement pond. Paris Bennet. I’m not a big fan of watching a 17 year old black Shirley Temple (or a Shirley Temple Black, for that matter) sing a sultry, smolderingly sexy song. Surreal song choice aside (how’s that for alliteration), she’s got a good voice, and a bubbly personality that will keep her around. I hate her. Chris Daughtry, you are absolutely tempting fate now. Your stock can only go down. You know how in haunted house movies there’s usually a deep voice shouting “Get Out Now!”, but it usually turns out to be a harmless weird guy living in the basement that just wants to continue to grow his weed without intruders bugging him? Well, that weirdo is Bo Bice, and he’s screaming at you, Chris, because he’s seen how this movie ends. Run for the exit like your career depends on it. Katherine McFunbags is safe. Insert your own joke about being taped in. One trick pony alert!!!!! This means you, Taylor Hicks. What the hell was that crap? We no longer find your seizures entertaining. We no longer find your “I got grey hair and soul” shtick endearing. You are safe because there are plenty of people that enjoy classic rock. How long they will tolerate your talent-less gyrations is beyond me. I’m still shocked people listen to that stale garbage, so I won’t be shocked when you last a few more weeks. Lisa Tucker. Just because it was 50s night didn’t mean you had to morph into a black Annette Funicello complete with khaki capri pants. We would have bought the joke had you worn the mouse ears, but because you didn’t go the extra mile we were just embarrassed and uncomfortable for you. You could be going home. Speaking of uncomfortable…Kevin Covais. Have you ever been eating lunch and glanced around at the other tables and seen an overweight woman eating her lunch, the lunch that she has brought to work in a Victoria’s Secret bag? There are too many images that hit you, both tangible and imagined, that make you uncomfortable and interfere with your ability to enjoy your meal. Kevin Covais is that overweight woman eating a banana out of her Victoria’s Secret bag, and America is forced to watch. That is uncomfortable, and by God that is punk rock. America will vote for him because they want to see what he’s going to do next. America will vote for him because they want to see what that overweight woman is going to pull out of that Victoria’s Secret bag when she finishes her banana. And that my friends, will bring down corporate rock and roll. Kevin Covais is an unstoppable force. Simon Cowell is petrified of him and he’s petrified of what’s in his bag. We already know there’s not a shred of talent in there, and that’s why we want to see him go on. Paying a guy with a mohawk to sit in your cheering section is too little, too late, Elliot. Pretty weak attempt to sway the punks, man. Pretty damn weak. The Pickler. No one can be that dumb. We actually saw light bend around our TV last night when she opened her mouth. Her vortex of stupidity gets stronger every week, and I’m thinking about tying myself to the couch if she goes on in this competition so I don’t get sucked into the wormhole forming in my living room. (Look, I clearly ran out of “dumb” analogies for this Pickler section, but cut me some freaking slack here.) I’ll let my wife add her thoughts on Ace Young. “Ace Young must die.” Gee-zus! Don’t pull any punches honey. Holy cow! Bucky and Lisa Tucker are neck-and-neck in the race to LAX and out of town. My pick? I think the cars in Rockingham, SC are going to have to make do with another week of primer. Lisa Tucker goes.

Bob Casey for PA Here's his website. Ken and other PA'nians will have to tell you if it's nonsense or not. I submit most anyone would be better than Santorum, but I'm a bit biased.

Don't worry, Ken. Come November, you won't have "Senator Environment" to kick around anymore...Casey Extends Lead [over Santorum] in Pennsylvania Senate Race.

And it will, unfortunately, work again.

I believe the implication is that they'll just stay home on election day. However, we'll never know because there is no way in hell the Reps will remove their lips from that teet. The evangelicals are their only hope now that Bush's approval ratings with moderate voters are circling the drain. They will rush straight into the open arms of the Religious Right.

I did a quick lunch-time search to make sure that this post was not just opinion on my part. To whit, from Friday... Who's drivin' the Red Bus? The wheels on the Red Bus go round and round We can point fingers all we want a couple of naked people in Berkley CA and make an accusation that the "crazy leftist loons" are running the Dems, but we would be very wrong. The mainstream Dems summarily ignore these idiots. Yet, who is actually pushing the agenda from the Right? Is it the moderates? Evangelicals got Bush two presidencies. Evangelicals are pushing for school prayer, creationism, eliminating or restricting of all forms of birth control and family planning, and banning same-sex marriage, to name only a few "core family values." Evangelicals are the one's setting up "Values Voters Summits" in an election year. I can't wait to see the guest list for this thing. Wanna bet they're gonna all be Republican politicos? So let's kick back and continue to laugh at the "radicals" with the swollen scrotums, who only have the power to amuse us, and ignore who's really pushing an agenda.

The right leaning Christian voter has far more sway in the Republican party than the Feingold-Dems do in the Dem party.

Also not true. Many will vote Green, Libertarian, or not at all if they can't reconcile voting for the Dem nominee. Regardless, why would anyone on the far left ever vote for a Republican, anyway? Spite? It doesn't work that way.

Not really. The "radical" progressive wing of the Dem party was summarily shunned in the 2004 presidential primaries. Kerry was not our choice for the nominee. The Deaniacs were considered fringe, and to this day there are those in the mainstream party who hate Chairman Dean's "50 State" grassroots/netroots plan for reviving the party. The Dem Elite would prefer sinking huge sums of money into key battleground states, whereas the "fringe" believe that an across-the-board campaign that doesn't ignore local elections in red states is the better plan. If anything, I'd say the radicals in the right drive the Republican party, as evidenced by the gay-baiting and pro-life blitz that the Reps do right before every major election to fire up the fundamentalists.

Pat Robertson has a TV show. Cindy Sheehan would have dissappeared long ago were it not for the FOX news and Drudge infatuation with her. I hardly see how Robertson with a satellite for a pulpit is less dangerous than a crazy woman who has to beg to get arrested.

An old link to pictures compiled from several, in some cases, years-old "protests" and you're calling this the core of the Democratic party? There are crazy people on both sides of the political spectrum, and just as Reverend Phelps and his crowd screaming "God hates fags" aren't the core of the Republican party, a couple of people who walk around naked with inflamed nuts aren't the core of the Dems. Calling this anything other than a small collection of weird-os is giving them a lot of credit they don't deserve. Calling it "sedition" is down-right ignorant.

My wife and I saw it last night. I walked out of that movie inspired and energized. One of the best movies I have ever seen regarding citizens shedding the fear that keeps their government in power. The packed theatre where we saw it stood up and cheered at the end. A powerfull indictment of a government that rules through fear.

Saw History of Violence last night. My wife is a huge Vigo fan, so we own the DVD. I thought it was great. 4 out of 5 is pretty dead-on. The last 15 minutes is outstanding. Junebug was also pretty fabulous. Amy Adams (?) definately deserved her Oscar nomination. I thought Ice Harvest was pretty dull. I've seen the same plot a thousand times. The only thing that kept me interested was the fact that I'm a Cusack fan. Other than that, pretty boring. BBQ, beers and V for Vendetta tonight.

I'm going by the original article. Rep. Phillips mentions (as stated in the article)that Missouri Right to Life is against the funding right before the vote that eliminates the funding. Their "focus" page is loaded with quotes from religious leaders and the Catholic Church. If I smell a turd, I don't actually have to see it to know it's there. Just because their website doesn't have a cross and a dancing Pope on it doesn't mean they're not connected in a major way. Maybe you're right and they're just a PAC of concerned agnostics.

While most people are reasonable enough to know that abstinence-only programs are doomed to fail, for some it takes an actual study to get them to pull their head out of their ass.

Right here. I am assuming of course, that Missouri Right to Life is a religious-based organization, or has significant ties. EDIT: Here's their Issue of Life page.

Teen sex increased after abstinence program Five Years of Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage Education: Assessing the Impact : for Missouri Shall I continue? I found those pretty quick. Notice the one specific to Missouri.

The Church is responsible for the lack of program funding already in Missouri, as per the article. So, let's allow them to handle all the family planning and birth control programs? The programs that they asked the legislature to deny funding for?

Look, if you want to argue that your desire for a beer fermenter is the same thing as providing poor women with birth control and family planning programs then this isn't even a reasonable discussion any more. Just look at the "reasoning" in this thread. "The poor deserve what they get because they've done something along the way that makes them poor". "The poor are lazy and should work two jobs to buy their birth control pills and condoms". "The poor shouldn't be having sex if they can't afford it". bull sh--. We're talking about funding necessary heathcare programs for people who can't afford the cost of those programs themselves. We're talking about birth control pills and family planning. Not only is it short-sighted and stupid to propose that these are frivolous programs, it is dangerously negligent in the long run for society as a whole. You are eliminating the singlemost effective way of preventing unwanted pregnancies in a segment of society that needs that prevention the most. You are eliminating the very tools that that segment of society needs to practice the personal responsibility that you all preach about constantly. Abstinence programs do not work. Period.

Bacteriologist working in drug discovery for big pharma.

There's too many posts in this thread to respond to individually, so I'll make my points in this post. Aren't these programs that they are failing to fund actually tools for taking personal responsibilty? If a person who can't afford health insurance coverage wants birth control, prophylactics, and/or family planning, isn't that taking personal responsibilty? They just can't afford it on their own. I understand the argument of "motherment" that always gets thrown around on this board, but the consequences from not even as little involvement as providing birth control for poor women that want it far exceeds the cost of the pill. The minimum wage in Missouri is $5.15. Businesses that make less than $500,000 a year are exempt from paying even this. I understand the reasoning of "If the government won't give them away for free, they should go buy them themselves." However, it is cost-prohibitive for women to buy these contraceptives on their own if they do not have insurance coverage (birth control pills can cost from $20 and $35, or $20 and $50 a month), and barring birth control, it would be left up to purchasing condoms. At KRC's listed price of $8.99, that is a high cost to pay for someone making $5.15 an hour before taxes. The argument at that point would be "tough sh--", but it is completely unreasonable to expect people to not have sex. Would any of you give up sex altogether? To the poster who suggested that the poor are lazy and enjoy being poor, that is one of the most ignorant things I have ever seen posted in this forum. Lastly, this issue in Missouri isn't about "motherment" and "personal responsibility". This is about a religious group pushing an agenda.

That is outstanding news! It's like the Berlin wall coming down. Cheap tickets out of Bandwagon-ville. Happy days!

Think Progress points out the hypocrisy of Dubya's photo op. (Links via Think Progress. The first link is, ironically, from the Autism Society of America, specifically linking to a letter urging the Senate Appropriations Committee to restore funding.) Nice photo op, though.

From the CNN article... The Dems are clearly not without fault for spending, but at least they didn't rubber-stamp raising the debt limit. Edit: No mention of that little fact in the FOX article, though.