Johnny Coli

If you could choose how you were going to get these ice cream sundays, which one of these scenarios would you rather have take place? 1. A hot chick hands you a hot fudge sunday and begs you to sleep with her and her twin sister. 2. You go to the doctor's office for a colonoscopy and at the last second he says you don't need one and hands you a hot fudge sunday. Just kidding, man. I'm picking #2 in both cases, because no hot chick is bringing me an ice cream sunday, and Holcomb ain't crushing the Jets by 21 points.

We could also put him in there for 4 sets of downs, never throw to him, then bench him for the year because he didn't "get it done."

Parrish needs to stand on the sidelines for a year holding a clipboard, watching and learning from the veteran wide recievers on this team.

You're probably going to go with Chatman and hope he gets in there in replace of Smith sooner rather than later. What about (shudder) Ricky?

That's the move I made. I get the definetive "McCallister is out for the year" alert. Within five minutes another "gentleman" in my league had already picked up Antoine Smith, right out from under me (you know who you are...hey, man, I would have done the same, so no hard feelings . It was a ballsy move). So I'm screwed, right? Nope, I grab the Bus off the wire, because what have I got to lose, and I'll get to see how he does in the Monday night game. Now RoboBerger goes down (hyperextended knee--could play this sunday), and Bus has a decent game.

I don't have time to find it for you. It was on Drudge yesterday, and it linked to the AP site. They had video and a few stills. There was a ton of blood pooled around the guy. It was a pretty severe beating, man. Not an exaggeration.

I see people talking about Holcomb's performance using terms like "touch" and "spark", and I'm completely dumbfounded. The offense scored a grand total of 3 freaking points in 38 minutes. 3 points!!!! And those came on a 47 freaking yard FG. After the TD, this well-orchestrated offense in the hands of the savior Holcomb had 8 drives. 6 ended in punts, 1 ended with a fumble, and 1 ended with Lindell's miracle FG. Their longest drive in that span was a pathetic 38 yards, and 6 of the eight drives were FOR LESS THAN 10 YARDS! That is utterly laughable. How can anyone in their right mind argue that Holcomb did any better than JP would have done? What am I missing here? The best that could be said about his performance is that the offense wasn't on the field long enough for him to blow the game. And he was lucky in that regard, because he only lost 1 out of his 3 fumbles. Like I said, how could JP have done any worse than Holcomb.

Five-five-five for my lonely....

Wow, that sure brings back some memories. We lived in a band house in the Oak Square area of Brighton/Boston. Pretty squalor-iffic conditions, but we didn’t care because we were just a bunch of kids. Not a care in the world. Anyway, we were up all night practicing and drinking gin, which was a luxury because we were dirt poor and mainly drank cheap beer. But that’s neither here-nor-there. So, we’re done practicing and we’ve killed off the bottles of gin we had, and we all go off to our cardboard slabs to pass out. A few hours later, I have to use the head. So I go in to the bathroom and flick on the light. To my surprise, there’s a rat doing the dog-paddle in the toilet. I kick the lid down with my foot and slam the bathroom door behind me, to try and trap that sucker in the bathroom. I go over to my buddy Tommy’s cardboard slab and nudge him with my foot. “Hey, Tommy.” I say. No response, which wasn’t a shock because we were up pretty late getting loaded on warm gin. “Hey, Tommy.” I say again, and kick him in the ribs. “What the **** do you want, man” says Tommy. “Dude”, I say, “There’s a huge rat in the toilet.” “No way!” “Way!” “Well what are we gonna do?” Neither one of us were thinking too straight, and I was further hampered because I was sitting on a golf ball at that point. “Look, man” I said, “I’m going in. Whatever happens in there, just don’t open the door.” “I owe you my life, dude” (writer embellishment) So I go in, plunger in hand, like an ancient warrior headed into a dragon’s lair (more embellishment) and slam the bathroom door behind me. I kick open the toilet seat. I look at the rat. The rat looks at me. And I go medieval on his ass, and plunge that dude like he just ate my whole village. He thrashed. I plunged harder. He thrashed some more. I smoked a cigarette. He thrashed one last time. I fell for it and lifted the plunger. He had used the air in the plunger bulb to ride out my suffocating blows. He was a worthy opponent, but I was sitting on a golf ball and I would not be denied. I thrust one last time and pushed all the air out of the plunger, holding him under for what seemed like an eternity (writer embellishment, probably a minute and a half). The game was done. I removed the instrument of death (come on, man, it’s a freaking plunger), saluted his valiant effort, and flushed his carcass into the unknown.

I am starting Hasselbeck on one of my teams. Joe J is no slouch and could put up huge numbers this week, via Hasselbeck (I picked him up as a becnch WR in one league, and I'm thinking about starting him this week). Also, Jeremy Stevens, the Seattle TE, has been a nice target.

Well, I've had everyone on that list on at least one of my teams. Kurt Warner isn't starting for the Cards and is listed as out. Even if he was starting, RUN THE !@#$ AWAY. He was a sexy pick to add to your bench early in the season, but if your league takes points away for Fumbles/Ints/Sacks he will KILL YOU. He puts up huge passing yard numbers, but never finds the EZ. Stick with Leftwich, especially if you're only going to use him for one week during Palmer's bye.

He was the heart and soul of this defense...the heart and soul.

From Fanball:

Yes. Just like the end of last year when MM continually trotted a stiff out there on a mirage of a playoff run.

Maybe we don't mind losing a few games now (which you are erroneously assuming will continue with JP in there) so that we can win more in the future and not have to continue to plug in has-been or no-been veterans to appease the short-sighted.

Rainbows piss you off, man.

My problem is EM taking his comments public. You want to B word and moan, show some class and do it behind closed doors. Don't go running to the media with your "We veterans want to win now" crap. I got news for you, Eric, we the fans want to see some !@#$ing wins too, buddy. But you know what, some of us look past the instant gratification you rich mother f***ers are so used to. You'll get your payday at the end of the season, so don't think we don't know what your whining is really about. Do your job and keep your damn mouth shut.

The fact is Coughlin had the balls to bench a "veteran" QB in favor of a kid to get that kid some valuable playing time. This in the same year that the Bills stuck with a total stiff on some phantom playoff run because it was "our time." Well here we are again, benching a kid after 4 freaking games in favor of a back-up "veteran" QB who had maybe a handfull of good games in his illustrious carreer. Panic move? Job saving desperation move? Veteran wide-outs bitching about their touches (or in most cases drops)? Pathetic. All they are doing now is grooming this kid to be a QB coach and a cheerleader. But we're supposed to kick back and enjoy the "playoff" run because our Top 5 (laughable) defense is getting old. Awesome, man. Go team. What "veteran" are we bringing in next year to help JP with the learning process?

Wow. I thought the last vein in my neck exploded at 1:15 today, then "bam" another one blows. You learn something new every day.

Exactly. They squandered half a season of development last year in favor of Bledsoe. Now they're just swapping Holcomb for Bledsoe. There's nothing more for JPL to learn on the bench. Nothing.

I won't. I'll be happy for a win, but I'll still call it a crap move, just like the second half of last season. Last year they stuck with Bledsoe with a stupid "win it this year" mentality and they sat JPL when he could have been getting valuable snaps. So now they're doing it again this year. It's crap.

I had to DVR it. ABC in our market had the Sox/Sox game and pushed Lost back to 11:35. I'll watch it tonight.

He sat all last year. What the hell is he going to learn from watching Holcomb?

Benching him for one game to watch the "veteran" Kelly Holcomb will not make a damn bit of difference. If he wants to see other QBs play the game let him get Direct TV like everyone else. The best way to learn is to get out on the field and take your beating. It's up to THE !@#$ING COACHES to make sure that they cover up for his weaknesses during his learning curve with a gameplan the plays to his and the team's strengths. This move blows.

When? When do we just let him freaking develop during real games? It's bullsh-t. Total bullsh-t. Last year we stuck with that piece of garbage Bledsoe because "we have great special teams and a top three Defense and this might be our year." Once again, complete bulsh-t. Look at the freaking Giants. They were in the playoff hunt last year, made the switch to Manning (and took some serious abuse from fans and media) and nutted up. Now he's starting to get it..."a light went off" as they say, and they are 3-1. Pulling this kid now is a joke. The Bills play three of their next four games against AFCE opponents, two of whom they get to play at the Ralph, and another (Oakland) that has one of the worst Defenses in the NFL. The Bills are only one freaking game behind their division leaders. One game! With twelve !@#$ing games left to play. Kelly freaking Holcomb. Jesus. Instead of caving in to desperation, or worse yet, player bitching and moaning, Mularkey should start kicking some asses, not switching to a damned career back-up and retarding a young QB's development. This is a crap move.