Golden Goat

I find it odd when pro athletes wear jerseys of other pro athletes. Wonder if Lebron even knows who he is.

To me, if you mortgage the future to make a run at the World Series, you'd better not be sub-500 and damn well better not have just been swept by a AAA team -- against your aces. What a ***** embarrassment.

We are blessed to have a "pitching guru" manager who can identify real talent at the position. Wilmer Font, for example.

Tenth grade. Our English teacher's baby arrived a week before finals and the sub was as dumb as they come. After class, I distracted her with a couple of questions from my textbook while an accomplice stole the master Scantron from her desk, along with blank Scantrons. We copied the answers that night (getting a few "wrong," of course), and the next day I distracted her again so he could return the master key. All we had to do on test day was swap Scantrons, which we did when Moronica went out for a smoke.

"Oops -- Chris Cooley shows his penis" It's gonna be hard to top that one. ?

Remember when Chris Cooley posted the playbook and his schlong in a single photo?

Ya know, I was 90% sure you were kidding, but I still felt compelled to point out that the Marlins have only won 10 games. I simply can't resist the temptation of B word-slapping "professional sports teams" in South Florida. (Damn, there I go again!)

The best division in baseball is home to the 10-win Florida Marlins?

A special thank you to the rest of the NL East, for sucking, too. Only 3 games back?

Does beating the Marlins count in the standings?

Check is in the mail. Honest!

Antonio Brown doesn't hit 1,000 yards. ?

It's a he-said, he-said thing. That's Wally's version. The Diamondbacks said it was because he didn't disclose his two arrests when they point-blank asked him in the final interview if there's anything in his past they needed to know about. Why they didn't do a background check before hiring him, I do not know...

In fairness, he managed the D-backs for four whole days back in 2004... ?

Team batting average is .243 -- 18th in MLB. Take McNeil, Alonso and Conforto out of the mix and we're pathetic.

Any idea when our offense and bullpen will be back?

It'll be fascinating to watch. Ironically, McMahon actually saved money selling his stock, at least for the moment. It's been a brutal month for WWE, but they have the Saudi Arabia event coming up, which is huge bucks, and, as you point out, the TV deal announced today.

Will it last longer than AAF?

Given 1,000 tries, I wouldn't guess that's Wally Backman.

No complaints here. When 1). your manager is supposedly a pitching guru and 2). you go all-in on your bullpen in the off-season, said bullpen's ERA had better be better than 4.71.

Mine's reheating cold pizza so that the crust is crispy and the cheese is evenly melted. It involves a skillet, aluminum foil and a splash of water ... (Method 1 in the aforementioned link).

This earlier childhood photo might shed some light on the "miles away" comment.

"We won,” Abrams said, according to The Houston Chronicle. “I am not delusional. I know I am not the governor of Georgia -- possibly yet." ? https://www.foxnews.com/politics/stacey-abrams-again-claims-she-won-georgia-governors-race-im-not-a-good-sport

They traded down and picked up an extra second next year before they did that, which is why I said "essentially."