Gray Beard

A good looking woman comedienne had a line that went something like: ”The guy is wondering during the entire date whether or not he’s going to get lucky. I already know.” That was from about 20 years ago, and it’s been true pretty much forever. If guys want to whine about how women have the upper hand, they should realize it isn’t anything new, especially if they’re dealing with attractive women. There are guys who are 4s who want women who are 8s, and it ain’t happening. There also girls who are 4s who want guys who are 8s, and that may happen for a one night stand, but not for long term.

I wonder, wonder who, who-oo-ooh, whoWho wrote the book of love Tell me, tell me, tell me Oh, who wrote the Book Of Love I've got to know the answer Was it someone from above

Woman oh woman Have you got cheating on your mind, on your mind

Coronation Chicken is a British recipe that’s basically chicken salad with mayonnaise and a little curry powder. It makes a pretty good sandwich. That’s about the extent of my experience with curry.

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me,Other times I can barely see.Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it's been.

I solve my problems and I see the light We got a lovin' thing, we gotta feed it right There ain't no danger we can go too far We start believing now that we can be what we are Grease is the word They think our love is just a growing pain Why don't they understand, it's just a crying shame Their lips are lying only real is real We stop the fight right now, we got to be what we feel Grease is the word It's got groove it's got meaning Grease is the time, is the place, is the motion Now, grease is the way we are feeling We take the pressure and we throw away Conventionality belongs to yesterday There is a chance that we can make it so far We start believing now but we can be who we are Grease is the word

Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon We could float among the stars together, you and I For we can fly, we can fly Up, up and away My beautiful, my beautiful balloon The world's a nicer place in my beautiful balloon It wears a nicer face in my beautiful balloon We can sing a song and sail along the silver sky For we can fly, we can fly Up, up and away My beautiful, my beautiful balloon Suspended under a twilight canopy We'll search the clouds for a star to guide us If by some chance you find yourself loving me We'll find a cloud to hide us We'll keep the moon beside us

I'm gonna wake you up early Cause I'm gonna take a ride with you We're going down to the Honda shop I'll tell you what we're gonna do Put on a ragged sweatshirt I'll take you anywhere you want me to First gear (Honda Honda) it's alright (faster faster) Second gear (little Honda Honda) I lean right (faster faster) Third gear (Honda Honda) hang on tight (faster faster) Faster it's alright It's not a big motorcycle Just a groovy little motorbike It's more fun that a barrel of monkeys That two wheel bike We'll ride on out of the town To any place I know you like First gear (Honda Honda) it's alright (faster faster) Second gear (little Honda Honda) I lean right (faster faster) Third gear (Honda Honda) hang on tight (faster faster) Faster it's alright It climbs the hills like a matchless Cause my Honda's built really light When I go into the turns Lean [Tilt] with me and hang on tight I better turn on the lights So we can ride my Honda tonight

My neighborhood has gotten old. I’m recently retired, and I’m surrounded by retired folks, except for the abandoned house next door. I live in an ok neighborhood, but the two grown sons who grew up next door won’t sell the house they inherited when their folks passed away, even though one lives 100 miles away, and the other lives 1500 miles away.

The little old lady from Pasadena (Go, Granny, go, Granny, go Granny go) Has a pretty little flower bed of white gardenias (Go, Granny, go, Granny, go Granny go) But parked in a rickety old garage Is a brand new, shiny red Super Stock Dodge And everybody's sayin' that there's nobody meaner Than the little old lady from Pasadena (She drives real fast and she drives real hard) She's the terror of Colorado Boulevard It's the little old lady from Pasadena If you see her on the street don't try to choose her (Go, Granny, go, Granny, go Granny go) You might drive a goer but you'll never lose her (Go, Granny, go, Granny, go Granny go) Well, she's gonna get a ticket now sooner or later 'Cause she can't keep her foot off the accelerator

Living easy, living free Season ticket on a one-way ride Asking nothing, leave me be Taking everything in my stride Don't need reason, don't need rhyme Ain't nothing I would rather do Going down, party time My friends are gonna be there too I'm on the highway to hell On the highway to hell Highway to hell I'm on the highway to hell No stop signs, speed limit Nobody's gonna slow me down Like a wheel, gonna spin it Nobody's gonna mess me around Hey Satan, paid my dues Playing in a rocking band Hey mama, look at me I'm on my way to the promised land, whoo!

Don’t wait until the end of the shower. Plenty of water should go down the drain with that stuff.

Tellin' you darlin' we can do it in style My imagination is drivin' me wild 'Cause the things that you're sayin' Cuttin' right through me Way that you're swayin' Is gonna undo me and I'm So high (you got me movin') Rock me baby Roll me away So high (you got me movin') Rock me baby Roll me away Baby you know you're lookin' good tonight I don't know what's wrong or what's right 'Cause you're shaking me up I'm lost in the feeling Taking me up Up to the ceiling, it's So high (you got me movin') Rock me baby Roll me away So high (you got me movin') Rock me baby Roll me away Somewhere deep inside my mind Emotions feeling right Lay me down and hold me close Take me through the night Rock me baby If you're looking for an ornate man Baby, I'm doing the best I can 'Cause I'm takin' my time Finding ways Out of my mind All I can say is that I'm

Reminds me of my dad’s line... He thinks he’s funny, but he’s snot.

It stinks getting old. The hearing and eyesight start to get worse. Next thing you know, you’ll be picking your nose and peeing in the shower.

Do the carp get health insurance and a driver’s license when the USACOE let them in?

So we already knew that women don’t sweat, poop, or pass gas. Now we learn they also don’t pick their noses.

She’s a keeper. She mows the lawn, then she brings YOU a beer?

There's a place up ahead and I'm goin' Just as fast as my feet can fly Come away, come away if you're goin' Leave the sinkin' ship behind Come on the risin' wind, We're goin' up around the bend Oh Bring a song and a smile for the banjo Better get while the gettin's good Hitch a ride to the end of the highway Where the neon's turn to wood Come on the risin' wind, We're goin' up around the bend Oh You can ponder perpetual motion, Fix your mind on a crystal day, Always time for a good conversation, There's an ear for what you say Come on the risin' wind, We're goin' up around the bend. Yeah Oh Catch a ride to the end of the highway And we'll meet by the big red tree, There's a place up ahead and I'm goin' Come along, come along with me Come on the risin' wind, We're goin' up around the bend

I knew you'd be a vision in white How d'ya get your pants so tight Don't know what you're doing But you must be living right, yeah Oh we got some places to see How 'bout a romance with me Jump in, it ain't no sin Take a ride in my machine, yeah City traffic's moving way too slow Drop the pedal and go, go, go We're going riding on the freeway Oh no, we can't stop now We're going riding on the freeway Gonna love in my pink Cadillac Well we're riding on the freeway Oh lord, we can't stop that Yeah we're riding on the freeway Gonna love in my pink Cadillac Whether you mind the exercise We've got lots of time We can't quit til we get to the other side Aha, aha, with the radio playing a song We keep rolling on To lose how far can't we get Before you think about love turned down, yeah

I’ve been walking on an ocean beach almost every day for the past week+. That’s because I’m on vacation. Otherwise, I visit a lake (usually in the Adirondacks) a few times each summer on weekends, and the ocean about every other summer while on vacation.

Storage for lawn mowers, snow blowers, bicycles, garden tools, extra furniture, things my kids don’t want but I’m not allowed to throw out. Workshop. No room for cars.

Tiny bubbles (tiny bubbles) In the wine (in the wine) Make me happy (make me happy) Make me feel fine (make me feel fine) Tiny bubbles (tiny bubbles) Make me warm all over With a feeling that I'm gonna Love you till the end of time So here's to the golden moon And here's to the silver sea And mostly here's a toast To you and me So here's to the ginger lei I give to you today And here's a kiss That will not fade away

Ev'ry year along about this time it all goes dry There's nothing round for love or money That'll get you high Henry got pissed off and said he'd run to Mexico To see if he could come back holdin' Twenty keys of gold Now the road to Acapulco is very hard indeed And it isn't any better if you haven't any weed Henry's driving hard and straight On twisty mountain roads There's fifty people waiting back At home for Henry's load And now he's rollin' down the mountain Going fast, fast, fast And if he blows it this one's gonna be his last Run to Acapulco to turn the golden keys Henry keep the brakes on for this corner if you please Henry got to Mexico and turned his truck around He's talking with the man who has it Growing from the ground Henry tasted, he got wasted, couldn't even see How he's gonna drive like that is not too clear to me Sunday afternoon Tijuana is a lovely town Bullfight brings the tourists and Their money flowing down The border guards are much too busy There at five o' clock Henry's truckin' right on through, He hardly even stopped

A thumb goes up, a car goes by It's nearly one A.M. and here am I Hitchin' a ride, hitchin' a ride Gotta get me home before the morning light I got no fare to ride a train I'm nearly drowin' in the pouring rain Hitchin' a ride, hitchin' a ride Gotta get me home to my baby's side Ride, ride, ride, hitchin' a ride Ride, ride, ride, hitchin' a ride Long distance call I got today She sounded lonely so I'm on my way Hitchin' a ride, hitchin' a ride Gotta get me home, to keep her satisfied