WhoTom

Give him a cape and he becomes the latest superhero: Accordion Man.

Imma let you finish, but ...

Oh Darling, please believe me I'll never do you no harm Believe me when I tell you I'll never do you no harm

I paid $15 plus $3 tip for my last haircut, about a year ago. Last summer I shaved my head, so now I pay nothing. The money I save on haircuts now pays for razor blades.

Monday morning, I just got home Six and the birds are singing I need a drink and my clothes are wet Ooh, and my ears are still ringing There's a rock and roll singer boppin' on the TV He used to be a preacher, but now he sings in a major key

You know that I care What happens to you And I know that you care For me too So I don't feel alone Or the weight of the stone Now that I've found somewhere safe To bury my bone And any fool knows a dog needs a home A shelter from pigs on the wing

Summertime, and the livin' is easy Fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high Oh, your daddy's rich and your ma is good-lookin' So hush, little baby, don't you cry

Mama's got a squeeze box She wears on her chest And when daddy comes home He never gets no rest 'Cause she's playing all night And the music's all right Mama's got a squeeze box Daddy never sleeps at night

"Hey, I heard about this great life hack - it's called the five-finger discount."

They say there's a heaven for those who will wait Some say it's better but I say it ain't I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints The sinners are much more fun You know that only the good die young

So I called up the Captain, 'Please bring me my wine' He said, 'we haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty-nine' And still those voices are calling from far away, Wake you up in the middle of the night Just to hear them say Welcome to the Hotel California Such a lovely place (such a lovely place) Such a lovely face. They livin' it up at the Hotel California What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise), bring your alibis

Whoever made the list apparently didn't see this thread:

Sprawling on the fringes of the city In geometric order An insulated border In-between the bright lights And the far, unlit unknown Growing up, it all seems so one-sided Opinions all provided The future pre-decided Detached and subdivided In the mass-production zone Nowhere is the dreamer Or the misfit so alone Subdivisions In the high school halls In the shopping malls Conform or be cast out Subdivisions In the basement bars In the backs of cars Be cool or be cast out

There's something seriously wrong with society when a size 2 is considered "plus." You can slap a chubby chaser label on me if you want, but I'll take soft, curvy, and voluptuous over a stick figure any day.

Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids In fact it's cold as hell And there's no one there to raise them if you did And all this science I don't understand It's just my job five days a week A rocket man, a rocket man And I think it's gonna be a long long time 'Till touch down brings me round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I'm a rocket man Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

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Considering the thread title, the appropriate way to remove yourself would be through an act of Harry Caray.

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On a long and lonesome highway East of Omaha You can listen to the engine moanin' out his one note song You can think about the woman or the girl you knew the night before But your thoughts will soon be wandering the way they always do When you're ridin' sixteen hours and there's nothin' much to do And you don't feel much like ridin', you just wish the trip was through

Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waitin' for a train And feelin' near as faded as my jeans Bobby thumbed a diesel down, just before it rained It rode us all the way to New Orleans I pulled my harpoon out of my dirty red bandanna I was playin' soft while Bobby sang the blues, yeah Windshield wipers slappin' time, I was holdin' Bobby's hand in mine We sang every song that driver knew

Keith Who's on drums.

Well it was many years ago now But I really can't be sure That's when it all began then I heard that knock upon my door And the wolfman's brother The wolfman's brother Came down on me

Let's bungle in the jungle Well, that's all right by me I'm a tiger when I want love But I'm a snake if we disagree